#that seemed to work for them and i remember they mentioned having adhd

[aloonaram]

Okay so this account is just going to be my think tank for my jayvik x harry potter fic for a while.

When jayvik first pop into existence in the hp universe, i want them to be naked and have nothing on them. No braces, no crutches, maybe the only thing reminiscent of their original universe are matching scars from the rune—the hexcore webbing etched into jayces arm and then into viktors hand. I also def want both of them to still be disabled, its just so integral to their characters it would be a disservice to not have that. And bc of that, i think it would be really interesting to think about how they GOT to hogwarts in the first place, theres a prob a lot of uncomfortable shifting and working together to walk at a semi decent pace to this “mysterious” castle in the distance.

Also want to clarify i would set the beginning portion during the summer when theres no students LMFAO

I think the first chapter would also be written in mcgonagall’s pov too. I like the idea of exploring jayvik, at least in the first chapter, through a new set of eyes. She won’t have the same prejudices and contexts like the people in runeterra to judge them by. To her knowledge these are just two…strangely naked men at hogwarts doorstep. LMAO

I also need to figure out if i want this to be a oneshot or something longer. Bc i could work with a oneshot but the concept im already starting to build is definitely giving longer, complex story. Idk i gotta figure this out.

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

[canisalbus]

Sorry about low activity and no art in weeks ´v`' I'm still here, just dealing with some health issues that are draining all of my energy.

You may remember that I started adhd medication some time ago, and the first meds didn't really seem to mesh with me, I just got bouts of intense, aimless anxiety from them with no significant benefits. I was switched to a different prescription and so far they've seemed to actually work, which is nice! It's like my brain is normally full of speed bumps, and while they're definitely still there, they've been lowered a little, at least some of the time.

Yesterday I had a little bit of a health scare. I had been having episodes of severe upper abdominal pain during the weekend, usually at night, and yesterday the pain had also spread to the left side of my back, accompanied by chills, nausea and dizziness. I called the medical helpline to ask whether this should warrant a trip to the emergency clinic and the person responding was worried about the possibility of an acute heart issue, and sent me an ambulance. The paramedics seemed very thorough and the tests came back mostly normal. They mentioned something about mild hypoxia (at heart?) and some other issue I didn't catch at the time, and that it's not quite dire enough to require an immediate ER visit but I should have it looked into as soon as possible. I have an appointment scheduled for thursday.

And I don't know, I'm still shaken about the whole thing. This is a new, very intense kind of pain and it's making me uneasy and unable to think about anything else. Of course in these situations you eventually end up googling and trying to figure out what it could be on your own, and from what I've seen the symptoms could fit gallstones or pancreatitis, but who's to say. I'm just waiting for thursday I guess, not sure of what to do with myself until then.

I keep weighing the option of going to the clinic tomorrow anyway just to be sure, and immediately feeling dumb because I'm obviously in a bit of a crisis mode mentally at the moment and it's probably not that urgent.

[spxllcxstxr]

Jayce and Viktor Dating Someone with ADHD • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: Hiiii how are you? I love your stories so I was wondering if you could write more jayvik x reader but who has adhd? TYSMM -- anon and Your Jayvik + reader headcanons have me are giddy and are healing my soul. Is it possible to ask for a some headcanons with a reader who has ADHD and also forgets to eat because of it?? I hope your day is kind to you! -- anon

Warnings: gn!reader, reader has ADHD, mentions of food and eating/not eating, these are lowkey kinda short im so sorry lol

A.N: Disclaimer: I don't have ADHD but I have many friends that do and while ADHD presents itself differently for people, I tried to keep this a bit generalized, I hope that's ok!! If anything needs changing or needs to be deleted for being inaccurate or anything, just let me know! Hope you guys enjoy!!

•

Jayce and Viktor are both very understanding people, so when you told them you had ADHD they didn’t have a problem with it. They are, however, problem solvers (they are inventors with the dream of making Piltover and Zaun better for the people), meaning they are very curious about your habits and how they can help. They don’t want to “cure” you, because there’s nothing to cure, but they want to understand how to reassure you and how to make living with ADHD easier on a day-to-day basis

If you’re someone who fidgets with things a lot, Jayce will happily pick up the task of making something that satisfies your need to occupy your hands and your thoughts. He loves being in the forge and he’ll gladly let you sit in there with him and listen to you describe what you would want. He’ll sit next to you, sketching out the design while you ramble about what textures are better than others or how weighty it should feel in your hand. Jayce honestly loves this little side project; not only does it let him work on something other than his research, but it also puts a smile on your face

If you like rambling for hours about your latest hyperfixation, Viktor is the best for that. He has a naturally curious mind and would love to learn something new. He especially likes it when your head is resting on his chest in the middle of the night. Viktor likes watching you move your hands as you talk excitably about the plant life in Ionia or the history of the Yordles. He doesn’t just listen—he’ll ask you questions or give you reading material he thinks you may like as well

Going to Council parties or even just walking through Piltover can really overwhelm you sometimes, either with all the noise or the texture of your clothing feeling off, so your partners are very attentive to your wellbeing. The three of you set up a codeword for anyone to use when someone needs or wants to leave. They try to make it something funny every time to hopefully ease the panic a little bit. Usually Jayce and Viktor are glued to either side of you hip, but in the off chance they have to roam around the room, the two of them will try to keep an eye on you. They will always reassure you that it's ok that they are leaving these sorts of events early (Viktor barely wants to go in the first place), and when you get home the three of you will do something to calm everyone down and get into comfortable clothes

Having ADHD, you tend to get distracted/forget to do certain things. This usually includes eating. Your partners never want to seem overbearing or like they're smothering you, so they will try to subtly remind you to eat/do certain things. Jayce likes writing you little notes and putting them in the apartment. Usually they have little hearts in the corners with some encouraging remark after "remember to eat!" Viktor will usually try to eat with you, so you won't feel alone while eating. He'll be making something and he'll set the table for either two or three and that just reminds you to actually sit down and eat what Viktor makes

Your partners are very patient and are always open to new ideas. if you want them to do something different or if something works really well, they would love to hear it. They absolutely will not be mad at all, they love you so much and all they want to do is help make things easier for you

•

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Jan 10th

~*~

1. Hi! Happy New Year! I hope 2025 is a blessed year for you all!

For FF: I read a LJY/LSZ fic a couple years back and I thought i bookmarked it but can’t find it now. It’s where LJY developed a voice cultivation(?). He was not vibing with any instruments so he used his voice. He also almost die saving LSZ on a night hunt. Both became quite a legend themselves among the juniors and guest disciples.

Thank you for all your hard work! @bitemepotter

FOUND! anyway, here’s wuji by kakikaeru (T, 18k, ZhuiYi, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence)

~*~

2. Heya, looking for a fic but only remember one little thing about it. It had a scene where Jiang Yanli and Jin Guangyao had tea and JYL ended up poisoning JGY. I think she might have been testing him but he failed it but I'm not sure if it was this one or some other fic :')

~*~

3. Happy new year! Thank you for all your help. I have a fic finder request, please! The story was a long canon au with red-string-of-fate soulmate mechanics. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying followed their string to meet during the Cloud Recesses lectures, but Wei Ying cut it during the golden core transfer (or maybe the transfer... withered it? blackened it? I can’t remember). The fic then picks up when Wei Ying is brought back to life and the red thread forms between them again, allowing Lan Zhan to find Wei Ying again. I would love to read this story again! If anyone has any clues, please share. Thank you!

FOUND? the heartlines on our hands by occultings (microcomets) (E, 47k, wangxian, Soulmates AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, First Time, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death)

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4. HI! For the FF: I saved a great line from a fic but *didn't* save the title, so now that I want to re-read the fic, I'm stumped. Thank you and the Hive Mind for any help. The line is: A-Ran had flung himself at A-Yuan like he was a landslide and A-Yuan was a badly built village. @songscloset

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5. Hey yall! I hate to add to your load, especially when I know it’s a fic you’ve found before, but scrolling through I can’t seem to find that silly fic where lxc was in denial about wangxian’s marriage and kept giving lwj marriage offerings. Hopefully it’ll be easy for you to find since I know I saw it on this blog

FOUND? happy not knowing by plonk (Not Rated, 16k, WangXian, Canon Era, Canon Divergence, Established Relationship)

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6. Hello lovely mods, I think I'm losing my mind. I saw two wangxian fics on ao3 recently that I planned to come back to but then couldn't find again with (various permutations of) the same tags. Did I dream them? Halp!

A) First fic: it was a modern au, something about fashionista LWJ, and WWX in a dress or feminized in some way. I think it was a PWP where it starts with them going out to dinner but may be mistaken on that point.

B) Second fic: time travel fix it but it's jin guangyao traveling back. There's something about how he'll do anything to make lan xichen smile, and that's how wwx becomes his problem. In the notes it mentions how jin guangyao remains as morally grey as ever, or something like that.

Do these stories exist outside of my head??!

TIA ❤️ @themoonmothwrites

6A)

FOUND? Cute Femboy Gets ~*HUGE SURPRISE!!!*~ by ScarlettStorm (E, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, onlyfans au, Porn, sex worker wwx, Adhd wwx, autistic lz, Fashionista lz, Nonbinary NHS, genderfluid WWX, Feminization, (absolutely not forced and in fact very desired feminization), Date Night, Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Gender Exploration)

6B)

FOUND? Shards of Hope by Dreaming_Days (T, 89k, XiYao, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Redemption, Character Study)

FOUND? I Have Been Selfish, Too by osiesaur (M, 176k, 3zun, background wangxian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Outsider, Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, JGY's Customer Service Smile, JGY Scheming is Used for Good, Scheming NHS, Protective NHS, 3zun | Venerated Triad Dynamics, Anxiety, PTSD, Mental Health Issues, Chronic Pain, Chronic Illness, canon typical abuse and bigotry, rated M for violence, The Kissing is Rated T) If the one alreasy recced for 6b isn't it and the person is going based just on a recall of summary+tags rather than having read the fic, 6b sounds like it could also be I have been selfish too. It's jgy pov + time travel + save wwx to make lxc happy. jgy just isn't the one time traveling.

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7. Hello. I search a fic but i just remember a moment of the fic + some infos: Wei Wuxian is taken in by the clan Lan after have been too much punished by Madam Yu. He's betrothed to Lan Zhan, adopted by the Lan Clan and at a point adopt baby Yuan. The scene that i remember is when Madam Yu visits Guzu and sees Wei Wuxian (with A-Yuan in his arms) and she uses Zadian at him. Huaisang, who was there, protect Wei Wuxian and is hurt by the whip. After that, both Madam Ju and Jiang Cheng have problem with both the clans Nie and the Lan. Thank you for you help.

FOUND? Consequences by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 58k, WangXian, XiSu, XuanLi, Canonical Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is a Lan, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Bad Parents JFM and YZY)

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8. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where gusu lan elders mind control WWX or smth into following all the rules when LWJ wasn't around.

I think it was a rec on wangxianficrecs but I can't find it anymore. It had an excerpt like, Sizhui was leading LWJ into the Jingshi and WWX was sitting at the table with perfect posture and stuff. Sizhui said smth like, " He's not hurt but acting weird." @shylurker111

FOUND! Perfect to Me by theearlymorningmist (T, 12k, WangXian, Protective LWJ, Good Uncle LQR, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Gusu Lan Elders Bashing, Curses, WWX is Loved, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Good Nephew JL, Protective JL)

~*~

9. Hi so I'm trying to find a podfic that I have no idea what the name is and I really want to listen to it so here's what I remember lwj's big brother was awake and doing some stuff in the kitchen or whatever and wondering why his little brother is not awake yet so he goes to his baby brother's room trying not to feel guilty about it because he knows that his brother wakes up at the same time as him 5:00 a.m. you know at the jazz and so when he opens his door he sees his brother and wwx in this bed curled up together I was like very confused until later where they explained that wwx got kicked out by madam yu for something or another and that I don't remember and so wwx stays with them until they go to college it's a modern au @constancebloodstone

FOUND? Found Family by fyredancer (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, Getting Together, POV Outsider, Dysfunctional Family, Coming Out, Bad Parenting, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Siblings, [Podfic of] Found Family by Fyredancer by AuntieIroh)

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10. Hi! I want to find ff which is about wwx being traumatized because of zidian and he is also scared of storms/lighting (?). there was some kind of scene after he punched peacock in face that madam yu was about to punish him however lan wangji protected him. thanks a lot!

FOUND! Thunderstorm in the Library Pavilion by ZamaShines (M, 22k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent YZY, Abusive YZY, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Whipping, Astraphobia, phobia - thunder, Thunderstorms, Panic Attacks, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, WWX Needs a Hug, and gets the hug, Good Sibling JC, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts)

~*~

11. Hello! For Fic Finder please: I am looking for a fic (possibly two) where Wei Wuxian played GusuLan music during the Phoenix Mountain hunt, which other disciples recognized and they all clamored "why do you know Gusu folk music?" I think I might be confusing two fics though, and if either or both could be found that would be great! In my first thought WWX used Lan musical cultivation songs to help on the hunt (maybe to calm down crazed disciples?) and the Lan disciples got angry that an outsider knew Lan sect secret music. The other thought is that it was when WWX was blindfolded and resting in the tree he played Lan folk music, and I think a commotion was caused by disciples thinking he was trying to seduce Jiang Yanli but Madame Jin defends him saying she recognized the songs and that they were harmless. I can't remember if these two scenes came from the same fic or from two separate fics. Any help would be much appreciated, thank you! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND? Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, no pinning, LWJ learns how to speak, WWX is not oblivious, Established Relationship, wangxian are married and have a son, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, Canon-Typical Violence, LSZ is LWJ & WWX's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts) WWX is playing Yunmeng folk songs, not Gusu ones, but the latter do come up in discussion after he finishes playing; the scene is about two thirds into the first chapter

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12. it's a fic where WWx, JC, and JFM are on a night hunt and everything goes wrong, JFM dies and JC's golden core is destroyed, YYZ has WQ do a golden core transfer, and after WQ takes WWX back with her against YYZ will. Meanwhile WN steals WWX body camera which recorded the whole process

FOUND? 🧡🔒 Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 178k, WangXian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX, caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war)

~*~

13. For ff please! I am looking for a canon-divergent au where Wei Wuxian was some kind of creature shapeshifter, and his animal instincts gave him pack instincts which in turn caused him to fuss over and mother many of his same-age companions (like Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning, I think Jin Zixuan and a few others). I feel like this kept cropping up at the Gusu Lectures because the other sects didn’t know Wei Wuxian was a shapeshifter so everyone thought he was just a mother hen-type friend. At some point he whipped out some territorial/protective mothering and protected the students against … someone? Maybe on a night hunt? I can’t remember. Any thoughts? Thank you!

FOUND? 🔒 flame and rust by Reverie (cl410) (M, 34k, WangXian, Dragon WWX, The BSSR lineage are dragons, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Child Abuse, via Madam Yu, Fluff and Humor, Protective Siblings, Time Skips, Supportive LQR, Angst, Golden Core Reveal, Good Uncle LQR)

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14. I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian hid in Lotus Pier after the Sunshot Campaign. With Jiang Cheng's help he disguised himself as a frail woman and the cover story was that "she" was a Jiang cousin or something, come to take refuge. I think Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng even pretended to get engaged to further the disguise. Everything was revealed comedically at a Jin conference where *shock and awe* Wei Wuxian couldn't help himself from flirting with Lan Wangji. Would love to read this again!

FOUND? By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal) this one is similar, except it's not after the Sunshot Campaign, it's when WWX wakes up in MXYs body, except MXY did the ritual a bit too early and as a result, WWXs soul isn't properly seated in the body so he's frail / though wwx & jc are assumed to be engaged, rather than pretending to be

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15. Hello, I am looking for a fic where LZ and WY first meet at some kind of music summer camp as teenagers. LZ quickly decides that they are dating, while WY is under the impression that they’re a camp-only couple. Every year, LZ also has a detailed schedule of things to do together since they can’t see each other for long. They eventually clear up their relationship status misunderstanding and go to college together. Thanks!

FOUND! I think 15 is Chapter 3 in this threadfic/chat fic collection by x_los

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16. Okay, I've been looking for this fic for the last few days, but I really need some help. So WangXian are arranged married, I'm very sertain it's canon divergent and the war doesn't/hasn't happened yet. WWX tries very much to become a productive member of the Lan clan, but his efforts are unappreciated, and the only thing he's allowed to help with is some basic talisman that any junior can do. He can't leave because he doesn't want to shame the Jiangs and also doesn't have any money because Madame Yu negotiated his marriage contract to put him at a disadvantage. LWJ doesn't yet know how to defend WWX and doesn't go against his family, but he eventually realizes that he hasn't been a good husband and cries about it to LXC because he doesn't know what to do. In the end, WWX secretly tries to destroy Lan Yi's Yin metal and wad willing to sacrifice himself because it's the only thing he believes he is useful for, LWJ stops him and it ends about there.

FOUND? Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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17. Hiyaaaa I am back with another request hehe. It's where Wei Ying thinks that Lan Zhan is dead and then he dreams about Lan Zhan a lot during the 16 years of his punishment (because he turns himself in to the sects). But then he was invited to the Nie sect by Nie Huaisang and he actually meets Lan Zhan who is alive and he still thinks that he is dreaming and breaks down in front of Lan Zhan, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue and Lan Zhan looks at his brother with betrayed eyes because Lan Xichen hid the fact that Lan Zhan is alive from Wei Ying deliberately. Thanks!!!! @yilinglaobunny

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18. Not sure if it was on AO3 or here on tumblr (although I have a feeling that the latter is more likely), but I'd love to re-read this fic where WWX (I think in MXY's body) staged Qin Su's death and got her safely out of KT and into CR. He then of course got blamed for murder before things were revealed. Thank you! 🖤🐇 @linderel

Yes, I think that's it! I may have been partially mixing up two fics in my mind but this is the predominant one. Even got lucky and hit the correct chapter on the first try, heh.

FOUND! Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) I think that's one of the later plot points in Love Song in Reverse, by timetoboldlygo.

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19. Fic Finder request please!

WWX dies via being thrown into a pit with some awful entity and comes back all wrong. I only remember this scene where he threw up Wen Chao’s sword or skull in the middle of a meeting? Idk which one and LWJ is just being super horny for him even though it’s clear that something is very wrong with WWX. I tried searching tags and I can’t find this. Plz help!! 😭😭😭

FOUND! You are what you eat by deliciousblizzardshark (E, 17k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eldritch WWX, Horny LWJ, Body Horror, Possession, of a sort, Cannibalism, kind of, Mild Gore, Teeth, Fluff and Humor, Smut, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Monster sex, Switching, Light BDSM, Rimming, Self-Lubrication, Seriousness treated Crackily, Implied/Referenced Torture, Dead WWX, 🔒[Podfic] You are what you eat by irrationalpie) One of the best 3H - horny, humor, horror - in Fandom, a yummy 🤣treat😍

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20.I’m looking for a wangxian fic where they are both ballet dancers and they are doing Matthew bourne’s all-male version of swan lake, and lwj and wwx dance it while having a debate about whether or not it is a gay romance. Thank you!

FOUND? space, skin, muscle, bone by tombenough_and_continent (T, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, Non-Linear Narrative, Dance, Background SongXiao, background NieLan, a surprising amount of texting, gratuitous use of ballet terminology)

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[linkons-most-wanted]

Diagnosing the LIs

This is just for fun! 💕 Not a serious commentary or diagnostic advice.

Zayne ❄️

Autistic, obviously

It's in the way he BLINKS, like, c'mon. They knew what they were doing.

Flat affect, dry sense of humor, others initially see him as cold/robotic, etc

Precise and deliberate in every aspect of his life

Has a set of consistent routines that are very important to him (including exercise and rest)

Sensory seeking through sweet food and physical intimacy.

Carrots are sensory hell--either weird and stringy or too mushy.

Special interests: MC (of course), Cardiology (especially application of Evol)

ETA: And he canonically arranges all the plushies by type and color.

Xavier 💫

ADHD - Inattentive

Literally daydreaming in the back of class when he's in school.

Constantly falling asleep / zoning out

Cannot remember the rules of Kitty Cards to save his life

Pretends he didn't hear questions he doesn't want to answer

Has an extremely loose relationship with showing up to work consistently / on time

Really able to enjoy the moment and take solace in the little things, day dreaming, etc

But when it comes to what he finds most interesting, i.e. training and battle, he's locked in

Rafayel 🐡

ADHD - Hyperactive

Implusive, e.g. walking off mid-conversation to go do whatever came to mind

Whines about being bored, looks to you for entertainment/stimulation

Hyperfocuses on painting and completely ignores Thomas/the world

Big, heartfelt emotions and mood swings. He can't help it--you make him feel a lot of things

Knee is constantly bouncing if you make him sit still for too long (idk if this is canon but it FEELS canon)

Sylus 🏎️

AuDHD

Frequently shifts hyper-focuses, always executing to a high standard but not sticking with the same thing for long. Weapons, jewelry, horse back riding, real estate investments...

Excellent pattern-matching is why his businesses are so successful. He can juggle a crazy amount of logistics at once.

The special interest that never fades is MC, of course

Rather than avoiding eye contact, makes overly intense eye contact

Did he miss a social cue or is he being playful on purpose? You'll never know.

ETA: I cannot BELIEVE I forgot to mention the sensory thing about hating bright light! And also collecting shiny rocks!

Caleb 🍎

OSDD 1B

Extreme example of having a "work self" and a "home self", though seems able to access memories from both states. Tendencies present since before the Toring chip (due to childhood trauma) but extremely exacerbated by the chip

Dissociation is adaptive--allows him to protect his vulnerable, sensitive self and still show it to MC while dealing with all of the everything

Puts his feelings aside and blocks them off, to a fault

His cheerfulness is just as genuine and heartfelt as his longing and concern 💕

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

The start of forever (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Sorry it's been a long time since my last post! Life got busy but I'm back (hopefully). This is the last part in the ADHD reader series, I might do some short fics in the future if people might be interested.

Enjoy!

Part: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

Words: 4k

Warnings: Suggestive

Just over a week had passed since the best day of my life. Ally and I hadn't gone on our honeymoon yet because of upcoming games, but between trainings, we managed a few days in a luxury hotel. We had spent a few hours at the spa, though we were mostly in our room either cuddled up watching movies, eating, or doing inappropriate things. It wasn't much, but it was enough to recuperate before the craziness of the next few weeks until it was time for our real honeymoon.

Unfortunately, it was time to leave our little bubble and return to training.

"How's married life Mrs Y/l/n?" Ali asked as I sat down next to her, a teasing smile on her face.

A small smile appeared at the mention of being married. It was still something I couldn't believe was real. "Honestly, it pretty much feels the same. I would say we feel more connected and never want to be apart, but that was the same pre-marriage. I do get a little burst of happiness or maybe excitement whenever I remember we're married. And I'm very excited about our honeymoon. It's been a while since we've had a good chunk of just us time. No work or commitments "

"You guys were always obsessed with each other before so I'm not that surprised. That feeling will stick around for a while I think. It did for me anyway. Have you got the photos yet? You both looked incredible so the photos will be amazing."

"Not yet, I think they will take another week or so. I'm not sure. Ally has been the one in contact with them. I don't know if you've noticed, but she's the organised one in this marriage."

"No really? Hadn't noticed that. You know, I'm so proud of you Y/n, you've come so far not just in soccer but in life as well. I mean look at you, you're married, with a great family around you."

My arms wrapped around Ali as I fought to keep my emotions in check. When I first met her and joined the national team, I never imagined I'd become so close to her—or anyone. At the time, I was focused on fitting in, doing my best, and earning my spot. Despite the age gap between us, Ali had become one of my best friends, a big sister of sorts. And even though I never saw it coming, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it now. "I love you, Ali."

"I love you too Kiddo."

"This is sweet and all, but if you're done being sappy we need to go out now," Emily spoke up interrupting the moment between us.

---

The team had decided to escape the hotel which meant everyone had decided to hang out at my house instead. I didn't get the point of going from one room to another in a different place, but they seemed happy so I wasn't actually complaining. Besides, my couch was comfier.

"Where's your wife? We miss her." That explains why they wanted to be at my house. They always wanted to hang out with Ally. At this point, I was sure they liked her better than me. I couldn't blame them, she was my favourite person too.

An involuntary smile made its way onto my face, a little over a month later and I still wasn't over the fact that Ally was my wife, "Oh I see how it is, you didn't want to hang out with me, you wanted Ally. Well you're out of luck. She had to go into the office today, she should be home soon I think."

"You guys go on your honeymoon soon right?"

"Yeah in like 3 weeks. Man, I can't wait, a week and a half alone with my wife in a secluded cabin surrounded by mountains. Sounds like heaven if you ask me."

"I don't even want to know where your mind is going."

I smirked, throwing a controller at Emily, "You really don't."

We were halfway through a FIFA match when the door opened. I quickly threw the controller to someone before rushing to the door. "Hi, my love."

Ally smiled tiredly, not fighting as I took her bag. "Hi, baby. Let me go grab the groceries real quick."

"No, I'll get them, you just go sit down."

Ally sighed, kissing my cheek, and hesitantly made her way into the living room. Once everything was inside and put away, I went to find Ally squished on the couch. When Ally saw me, she pulled herself up much to the dismay of the girls she was talking to, and pulled me into a tight hug. "I said hello to you guys already, it's my wife's turn now."

My arms tightened slightly at the words before I spoke quietly, "You okay love?"

"I am now. Just a long day."

Emily fake gagged, making us pull away with an eye roll, "You two are still disgustingly cute. How long do we think that lasts?"

"Knowing these two, probably forever."

---

"Ally baby, don't fall asleep. We're almost there."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to flying internationally."

We had landed a couple of hours ago and done all the needed errands in town before driving out to the cabin. It was Ally's idea because I had completely forgotten there was anything we would need for the week. "Probably not. I still haven't. We've got a week and a half of no work or training. So once we get to the cabin we can just chill for the rest of the day and hit the slopes tomorrow."

Ally smiled, kissing my hand before sitting herself up properly in the seat. "That sounds perfect love. Maybe a bath too. Because I think we should take as much advantage of the bath as we can while we're here."

"We really have to get you a bath. I'll make it happen for you one day."

"That would be the dream. We will make it happen."

Not even 10 minutes later, we arrived at the cabin and had the bags out waiting to be taken inside. Much to Ally's confusion, I stopped her before she could get inside and scooped her up bridal style. Ally squealed, arms wrapping around my shoulders, "What are you doing!?"

"Carrying my wife over the threshold. We were too drunk to do it on our wedding night then maybe I forgot so here we are."

"Charming as ever my love."

"You know it." I placed Ally down in the living room, leaving a lingering kiss before taking our bags to the bedroom.

We weren't sure if we'd even be able to go on our honeymoon at first due to game schedules. So we had held off on booking anything until it was finally confirmed I'd have the time off. There weren't many options at the time, but thankfully we didn't care where we stayed as long as there was a bath. That was Ally's only specification. Luckily, we managed to find a pretty nice place anyway. The cabin was a cozy, one-bedroom place with a simple, open-plan design. There was a comfortable-looking L-shaped couch, a few bean bags, and a fireplace. A window seat was placed in the perfect spot to see the surrounding mountains. It wasn't much, but it was perfect for us.

After we had put everything away, Ally went to sit down on the couch, but I stopped her before she could and pulled her into my lap instead. "You're trying to look romantic, but I know you are just trying to keep me from falling asleep."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I know you. Also, I would have 100% fallen asleep. I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"There's no need to apologise love. I just know if you sleep now, you will struggle tonight. How about we cuddle for 10 minutes then go for a walk, have dinner, bath then do whatever we feel like? If you can deal with me after the flight that is."

Ally giggled, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and kissing me softly, "As insufferable as you can be stuck in a confined space for hours on end, I will always want to be around you. Why are we going for a walk?"

"We gotta explore the area at least a little bit before it gets dark. If uh that's okay of course."

"Of course it is. This is our honeymoon not just mine. Cuddle then walk sounds perfect."

---

Ally looked at me like I was crazy as I lay down in the snow, moving my arms up and down. "Babe! What the hell are you doing?"

"Snow angels. You can't be in the snow and not do snow angels. Come on, join me."

"No, it's cold and wet and I love you, but you're crazy."

I sat up, holding up my hand, "Okay fine, help me up."

Ally took my hand, and instead of letting her pull me up, I pulled her down into the snow. She let out a squeal and hit my shoulder lightly. "What the hell Y/n! You're such a little shit."

I straddled Ally's waist, peppering kisses across her face, "I'm not sorry either."

Her hands slipped under my shirt, making me shiver from the cold as they trailed up my side. "We could be doing this in a nice bed, or couch or even standing up, but you choose the freezing snow."

"I'll make you a deal. You do one snow angel with me and then we can go back to the cabin to make use of the nice bed or couch or even standing up, whatever you want."

Ally smirked, "Whatever I want huh?"

"Whatever you want."

"Deal. Bath and massage it is."

"Bu-"

Ally rolled off me, winking as she went, "Whatever I want remember."

Once we had finished the snow angels, I quickly got up, stopping Ally before she could. I snapped a few photos as she lay in the snow. Ally started doing random poses as I took a bunch of photos, some of which would have to be locked away as they boarded on R18.

She looked at me confused as I pulled her up out of the snow, "Why are you taking so many photos? You don't normally do that."

"Memories. This is one of those times that I want to remember forever." In reality, I was planning to get a photo book made of our honeymoon, similar to the one Ally made me for our anniversary. It wasn't something she would expect me to do. Photo books and albums had always been more Ally's thing.

---

Ally and I had been snowboarding together a few times since we started dating. Besides that, she was pretty new to it while I went pretty often with one of my friends growing up. It wasn't something I enjoyed very much at first. It was just a way to get away from my parents. Now I loved it and while Ally enjoyed it, I knew she still got pretty nervous before the first few runs. Despite the nerves, she was always willing to do whatever runs I wanted to because she knew I loved it. Just another reason she was my person.

"Just follow my lead," I encouraged, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze effectively stopping her fidgeting. As we boarded the ski lift, I couldn't help but steal glances at her. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and despite the nerves, there was a small smile present. She was gorgeous, I would never understand what I did to deserve a women like her.

"Always do. What's going on in that head of yours? You've got that far-away look."

"Just how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to be married to you."

"I love you." Ally was looking at me with so much love, that I couldn't help snapping a quick photo before she noticed. To this day I still got 'butterflies' whenever she looked at me like that. At this point I didn't think that feeling would ever fade or at least I hoped it wouldn't. With a simple look, she made me feel incredibly loved. I never wanted that to go away.

I always had Ally go in front of me, just for instances like these. Watching Ally go down just in front of me had my stomach dropping as I skidded to a stop next to her. Ally groaned, rolling over and giving me a thumbs up. I helped Ally scoot over to the side, making sure she was okay as we went. After making sure Ally was okay, I laughed loudly, snapping yet another photo of her covered in snow. "You're supposed to glide over the snow not eat it."

"Shut up miss professional athlete."

Ally took the hand I held out to help her up, but instead of standing up, she pulled me down into the snow next to her much like I had a few days ago. "You're not supposed to eat the snow you know?"

"Meanie."

Ally rolled over, kissing my cheek before a smirk appeared, "Paybacks a bitch baby. We should probably keep going."

"One more run then lunch?"

"Race ya." Ally giggled before taking off down the mountain.

---

"Hey Al, this weather forecast isn't looking very good and they've closed the field. It looks pretty crappy out there. We should probably just hang here today and see what happens."

"Yeah, I'm not going to complain about a day alone, cuddled up with my wife," Ally smiled, pulling me into her lap, leaving a few light kisses against my neck.

"You said it."

"Well you are my wife, aren't you? Or did I marry someone else without knowing?"

I wasn't a very jealous person, but the thought of Ally marrying someone else made my skin crawl. I scowled, kissing her deeply, the way I knew left her utterly breathless before whispering, "Don't even say that." Ally moaned quietly, trying to reconnect our lips, but I pushed her away gently. "Nope. Just for that comment, you have to wait. Let me go get some more wood just in case then we can play games or something."

"Jealousy suits you," Ally winked, "Or something sounds perfect."

"Horndog."

She shrugged, smacking my butt as I walked away, "What do you expect when you're walking around shirtless? Please put a jacket on before going outside though."

A few hours later, we lay tangled in the sheets watching TikTok on Ally's phone. My original plan was to take Ally out for dinner since the weather was supposed to get better but turns out all the roads were closed. I laughed a little as memories flooded in of this happening on our first snowboarding trip. At least this time we still had power for now. Ally looked at me confused, making me laugh even harder.

Once I managed to stop laughing, I explained why to a very confused Ally, "We have the worst luck when it comes to romantic snowboarding trips. All the roads are closed and we're stuck here for who knows how long. I've never been more grateful that you made us do a proper shop."

This time it was Ally's turn to laugh, making me laugh all over again, "Maybe this is a sign snowboarding for occasions isn't for us. Like seriously, the times we just went for a weekend everything was fine, but our first ever trip and our honeymoon, things go wrong."

"Or it's a sign that we do it more often and get trapped together."

"We can do that at home. I was thinking that our next holiday should be somewhere tropical. I love our snowboarding trips, but it's my turn to drag you somewhere hot."

"I think I can live with seeing you in a bikini."

Ally rolled her eyes at me, pushing me away gently and rolling out of bed. "Of course you can. I'm going to make dinner."

After about half an hour of scrolling through my phone, I dragged myself out of bed. Ally was still in the kitchen so I went to bring in more wood to last the night. Ally was pretty much always the one who cooked, she loved it and I hated it. In return I always cleaned up, did the chores she didn't like, and baked her whatever she wanted.

I wrapped my arms around Ally from behind, swaying gently as she stirred the sauce. Ally let out a soft giggle, turning down the heat before turning around, her arms resting on my shoulders. "You okay, love?"

"I got the wood in, then got bored," I replied, slowly moving us around.

She laughed, pressing her forehead to mine. "Man, I love you, Y/n."

"I'd hope so, seeing as you married me."

She flicked the back of my head lightly. "Oi, say it back."

"Say what?"

"Don't be mean, or you're sleeping on the couch."

"You couldn't handle that, and we both know it," I teased, pulling her closer. "But I love you, so, so, so, so much."

"My dork," Ally grinned. "We should roast marshmallows tonight."

I twirled her around before pulling her back into me, planting soft kisses along her jaw. "Marshmallows it is."

"Yessss I love roasting marshmallows."

"I know you do. How about this: you have a bath, I make brownies, then we roast marshmallows?"

Ally's face fell a little. "You're not having one with me?"

"Not tonight," I said, smiling apologetically. "I want to, but I've got a surprise for you, and I need time to set it up. You have your bath, and I'll have a surprise waiting."

She let out a dramatic sigh before she smiled again. "I can accept that this time, only because I love surprises. Now, I love you, but if you don't let me go, we're having burnt sauce for dinner."

After dinner, Ally went to have a bath while I quickly made some brownies and cleaned up. Then moved on to the idea that I wanted to surprise her with.

By the time Ally emerged from the bathroom, the living room was dark, the fire and a few scattered candles casting a soft glow around the room. There was a platter of marshmallows, chocolate, strawberries, and brownies laid out on the coffee table in front of the fire. Ally looked around, smile widening when she saw the blanket fort in front of the fire. "What's all this?"

"Just a little something I thought you would like."

"You chose this over a bath with your wife? I would be offended if I didn't love it."

"Yeahhh, I saw it on TikTok earlier and got fixated on it."

"That's my girl." Ally left a lingering kiss against my cheek before carefully making her way into the fort and settling among the blankets. Ally's eyes sparkled with happiness as she looked around the fort "Gotta say it's pretty impressive, miss fort builder."

"It's Mrs fort builder to you," I said, feigning a scowl that just made Ally grin wider. "Thank you, I've got a lot of fort-building experience. It's a crucial skill in life."

She snorted, unable to hide her grin as she pulled me down with her. "Clearly. And what exactly are we doing in this fort?"

I settled in beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist as I peppered her face with kisses. "Roasting marshmallows, of course, eating brownies, and I don't know... I'm sure there's some way we could entertain each other."

Ally arched an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. "Entertain each other, huh? And how do you propose we do that? Because, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, I don't think I can go another round after earlier."

I chuckled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before pressing my lips to hers in a deep, lingering kiss. When we finally pulled apart, I grinned. "I'm sure we'll figure something out. We have all those games on the shelf. Maybe a board game night? We haven't had one of those in ages."

Ally pretended to think about it, but I knew she loved game nights just as much as I did. In our early days, that's what a lot of our date nights consisted of. Over time they dwindled as commitments got in the way, but when they did happen, it was special in a way.

"First, though," I added, nudging her nose with mine, "Marshmallows. Because I don't want to see your pout if we don't do it."

So that's exactly what we did. We roasted marshmallows over the fire, though Ally had a habit of catching hers on fire, laughing as she waved them around trying and failing to save them. Ally's smile and laughter were so full of happiness, that I couldn't help but join in.

We spent hours playing random games, arguing over rules and jokingly accusing each other of cheating. I took so many photos, honestly probably too many. There were shots of Ally, of the blanket fort, of the two of us together. I had no idea how I was supposed to pick which ones to put in the photo book, but I would never complain about having more photos of Ally.

The night was peaceful, safe, and fun. There was no stress, no worries, no commitments, it was just me and my person. Honestly, if we never left this cabin, I think I'd be perfectly happy with that.

---

I turned to Ally, propping myself up on my elbow to look at her. She was tracing lazy patterns on the back of my hand. Games and food were long forgotten and the fire almost out, but I couldn't bring myself to get up to put more wood on. Maybe the last few days hadn't gone to plan with us being stuck inside, but as long as I was with Ally, it didn't matter.

"You know," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper, not wanting to disturb the peace. "I really like being stuck with you."

She smiled, lacing our fingers together, "Good because you married me. I also really like being stuck with you, too. Even though I know you hate being stuck inside for so long."

I laughed quietly, shaking my head. "Normally yes, but I'm actually not struggling that much this time. Maybe cause it's our honeymoon or because I've never been more in love with you than I am right now. Right here with you, I'm content, I'm happy and I can't wait for our life together. Something tells me it's going to be incredible."

Ally ran her fingers across my jaw, eyes shining with unshed tears. Her voice cracked slightly as she spoke, "I-I love you Y/n. It's silly, but I love it when you get like this. You always make me feel so loved, but when you look at me like that and say the sappy things you just did, it's like a whole other level. You make me feel so incredibly important."

"Ally, you are the most important person in my life. My team or family I would say, are incredibly important to me, but that's nothing compared to you. I meant everything I said in my vows. You are my everything, my world."

She blinked a few times, her hand coming to wipe a tear away, but I beat her to it, leaving a soft kiss in its wake. "You're determined to make me cry aren't you?"

"Maybe. I'm determined to make sure you know how much I love you every single day for the rest of our lives."

"I already do. You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I love you so damn much."

"I love you, Ally."

We stayed like that for a while, nothing else being said as we just enjoyed being cuddled up against each other. Being with Ally was easy. There was no pressure, no expectations. Just us, wrapped up in blankets, in each other. And honestly, it was perfect. Any lingering doubt I had that I wasn't enough for her, about not being the wife she deserved, faded away. And for the first time in my life, I truly felt like I had everything I needed, right here, right now. With Ally by my side, I knew that no matter what happened in life, I would be okay.

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Kwazii And Tweak Dynamic Headcanons

<rough sketch sorry lol>

@traumatizedartist

They are ✨SIBLINGS✨ to me-

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm 1000% sure neither one remembers to do their laundry all the time so they totally steal eachothers clothes 😭

The big sister of thr octopod and our tiny daredevil gremlin?!!

cmon yall remember the earlier seasons though 🥺 hed crash a gup or sneak out in the middle of the night drive the gup b (and she always woke up whenever he left she has that rabbit hearing)- she has the Big Sister Authority, she just let's you use the gups 😔🙏 u better be grateful kwazii

Him KNOWING he'd be in so much trouble when he snuck out to *try* to teach shellington to drive-

(They canoncially ended up both crashing after shellington imitated kwazii CRASHING and then shellie was like "owh no! We should call tweak :o"

and kwazii immeditaly yelled out NO-i I i mean we can do it ourselves! Its fine! <:] no need to tell tweak matie"

Not to mention he looks up to her and calls her a genius???

Tweak loves this little guy and his antics though 😭 she loves to see him happy but she's really the type to either encourage the mischief (like girl we all know u did not need to make flying fish mode really ans truly u did that for the silly cat) or be the one yo get him into trouble 😭

He def doesn't crash the gups like before, but I feel like at a certain point she absolutely made him help her. I headcanon that he actually started helping her alot more with repairs and etc as time went on, hes not some engineering genius but he can help

They're also both so proud of eachother and trust eachother so deeply, esp in The Ring Of Fire where they both had to escape the flooded (and on fire???) Underwater base that tweak used for big gup repairs and upkeep

Tweak loves old classic games and kwazii never really had too much exposure to popular media, unless u count his comics lol, I feel like autism meets adhd with them yk? U can't convince me that tweak wouldn't have introduced him to sonic the hedgehog and that he wouldn't have LOVED it

They have banter and inside jokes and they know eachothers habits and needs yk?

They look out for eachother, whether its trying to prevent the other (kwazii cough cough) from getting into trouble or being the one willing to risk their own safety to make sure the other is ok 🥺

Also for my own au kwazii did spend a considerable amount of his teen years alone, meanwhile tweak just has the autism where u do not know how to "live normally and properly take care of urself"

They both have atrocious sleep schedules me thinks, with kwaziis adhd making him be up at random hours and tweak falling deep into the rabbit hole (pun INTENDED)of engineering and working

I think he helps remind her to take care of herself without any judgement you know

Tweak is the type of person to not judge anyone either and just hear you out i think and kwazii seems like the type who would go waddle in a seamp for hours to dig out the necklace you lost just so u could be happy

So yes they love eachother and they mean the world to me 🥺

Kwazii is just so excited about everything this woman does lol, and she's like oh God this guy really is somethin and I think thats great

Shes just like sure hun to him yapping for 3 + hours about his idea to add fcking canons or some sht to the gups as she's welding stuff together

Also I think kwazii would be a decent mechanic for the gups after all the years of practice with tweaks supervision and teaching i mean he has whole mini pirate ship replicas in jars for crying out loud, as long as he can keep his brain engaged i think he has the ability to do precision work and repairs, esp since he did sail on his own by himself for years anyways

Woods pretty different from metal but tweak is patient with him, even if her "oh u fcked up" glare (and the weight of its consequences) could absolutely smite you on the spot

I might be forgetting some stuff but yall see the vision right, but lmk yalls headcanons n all that lol

ALSO ANY CULTURAL HEADCANONS I HAVE ABOUT TWEAK IS OBJECTIVELY CORRECT CUZ IM FROM THERE TOO ( I'm joking lol people can have different opinions duh, but fr i just i feel connected to her in my soul 🥺)

(Like girlie kwaziis room is better than yours, why the fck don't u have a dresser but instead just a whole *ss kitchen table? Not bed frame, no decent lighting, repair parts on your floor its a mess- like i feel you tweak I've been there, but bbg its been years and im sure the other crew members have talked to u about this, atp its a CHOICE and honestly continueing to live like that is real)

[dustmusings]

oldest trick in the book

Hardcase x F!Reader

word count: 3.4k

description: you've been secretly pranking hardcase as payback for a prank he pulled on you, but this time he catches you in the act

warnings/tags: friends to lovers I suppose, hardcase is a smug little shit at the beginning & a little bit adhd-coded, reader is described as shy/anxious and potentially also neurodivergent in some way but I wasn't writing it to be like that on purpose am I telling on myself? I feel like this is very cheesy lol

a/n: alright. I wouldn’t say this is my best work but I just needed to get it out of my system. this definitely took a more sweet turn than I was anticipating, probably because I didn't plan it at all and just pulled it outta my ass. I blame @ghostymarni making me thirst for this man to a concerning degree

masterlist | join my taglist | read on ao3

Perhaps if anyone knew what you were doing, they’d think it was weird, and honestly, maybe it was.

You tiptoed into the barracks, your footfalls light and ear reaching out in search of any noises. You knew there shouldn’t be anyone in here at this time, but it didn’t stop you being cautious. After all, that was how you had kept this operation going so long.

Not entirely sure which bunk was the one you were searching for, you tried to look for any identifying items. A pack of smokes? He didn’t seem the type. Hairbands? Definitely not, that one most likely belonged to Tup. A pile of laundry? Could well be his. Among other things, you knew Hardcase could be messy, something you had picked up on in your time studying him, figuring out his daily routine. It was much the same as the other clones, naturally, but in watching him you’d realised just how different from them he was.

As strange as this all sounded, you didn’t start it. At least, that was how you rationalised what you were doing.

Hardcase was a known prankster aboard the Resolute. Him and a few of his brothers, namely Fives, filled their spare time by terrorising the rest of the crew, and you were not immune. You had been burned by them on several occasions, and the most recent was a tipping point for you.

That time, it had been just Hardcase, and he had made you look a fool in front of your employees. You were the head technician aboard the venator, and standing in front of your team, giving a briefing without being privy to the ‘kick me’ sign stuck to your back, was not something you had been pleased about. It was especially irritating as you were still relatively new in the role at the time, and to have your leadership put into question, being a little shy to begin with, did more damage to your confidence that Hardcase probably realised.

So, you had been pranking Hardcase back. They weren’t so much proper pranks as harmless inconveniences for him, but in any case, it was a satisfying form of payback. Most of the time you’d steal his things only for them to ‘turn up’ in the strangest of places, none where you could be implicated, and other times you arranged little situations designed to embarrass him.

The only problem with that was that he refused to be embarrassed, and honestly you admired him for it. His ability to brush off jokes at his expense was commendable, and made you feel like a spiteful cynic for reacting in the way you had to his admittedly innocent prank. Though, you were having too much fun with it now to stop. You knew you were safe from him suspecting you, considering he probably just saw you as the quiet ship tech who he liked to bother when he was back on the Resolute, and he was yet to mention it if he did.

So here you were, rifling through the drawers beside his bunk for something you could steal or use to your advantage. You opened the final draw and your lips curled into a grin as you saw the only item inside: his music player and headphones. You had stolen them before, and remember him being particularly irritated about it, more so than at your other exploits.

You were so caught up in your glee at finding the player again that you didn’t register that someone had entered the room. The pile of dirty blacks should’ve been a clue really, but when someone cleared their throat and you whipped around, finding Hardcase himself with just a towel slung around his waist, you couldn't help but gawk.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his suspicion as obvious as his amusement at your flustered state.

Your hands were behind your back to hide the almost stolen item, your eyes fighting to keep away from his bare chest and failing miserably. You had no idea that his tattoos stretched down his chest, and the way they dipped beneath the edge of the already dangerously low towel had your mind reeling.

“Nothing, just a— it's a routine check” you finally peeped out, trying to sound casual. You had never been good at lying, and you could tell that much was obvious to Hardcase by the way his lips twisted in a smirk.

You quickly darted for the door, the offending item still behind you back to not get caught. You knew the jig was going to be up soon enough, but you didn't feel like answering for your crimes while he was only wearing a towel and you couldn't keep your eyes on his. Unfortunately, Hardcase had other ideas.

He reached out, blocking the exit and causing a small startled yelp to fall from your lips. Your eyes trailed along the toned arm that stopped you from leaving, lingering on the tattoo that circled his bicep, and finally making your way up to his face.

“A routine check?” he spoke, smirking broadly at you, “mesh'la, we both know that's well beneath you”

“Well, I like to know what's going on aboard my ship” your voice was wavering and you internally cursed yourself for letting him get to you like this.

He leaned in a little, his voice dropping fractionally, “you need to know what's going on in my bunk specifically?”

Hardcase had always had fun toying with you, even outside of the pranks. When he'd seek you out during his moments of respite and natter away, telling you a great many things about his most recent deployment, he'd always find a way to gently push your boundaries, not enough to make you uncomfortable, but just enough to get you flustered. It was low hanging fruit really, with you being so shy it was so easy to make you blush, as you knew you were now.

“I— it wasn't just— I was—” you shut your mouth, just looking up at him not knowing how to explain yourself without some kind of confrontation.

Hardcase stared back, his gaze appraising and amused. He nodded behind you, “what have you got there?”

Your eyes went wide, “nothing! It's like I said, just doing some checks”

You knew you were bright red, betraying your lies even further than your shaky and stuttering voice, and you had to look away from him. He took the opportunity to quickly reach around you, taking back his property and holding it above his head so you couldn't seize it again, even though you tried to. He was much taller than you, it was helpless.

“Ah, my player, you know this has gone missing be—” his eyes thinned as he looked back at you.

You rocked back onto your heels and clasped your hands together, looking up at him innocently. You knew you were caught now.

“…Before” he finished the thought and his eyes widened, “you're the one who's been stealing from me?”

You were surprised to see that he was grinning as he said it, and it only unnerved you more.

“No! I don't do that sort of—” you tried to argue your case, but he wasn't having it.

“And yet here you are… stealing”

You looked away, your face aflame, and uncertain of how to get out of this situation. Before you could figure it out, you felt his hand on your chin, tipping your face back his way.

“I must admit, I'm impressed” He said as he looked down at you with a thoughtful expression.

“Impressed?” you practically squeaked, unsure what direction this was going in.

“Mhm” he hummed as he ran his thumb over your chin, “I didn't realise you were so… devious”

You didn't say anything, but one side of your mouth quirked up on instinct. His gaze flicked down to watch it happen and then he peered back into your eyes, mischief swirling within his own.

“You know, you owe Jesse an apology” Hardcase said, towering over you even more as he stepped into your space, and you frowned a little, not understanding his words. “I called him a thief and said he was stealing my stuff, started watching him more closely”

You were entirely captivated by him, hanging on his every word, and it was as much a shock to you as it was amusing to him. He was still holding your chin and with his proximity to you now, your head was tipped back to look up at him.

He gripped you tighter with a calculating smirk, “Only… you were the little thief I should’ve had my eye on”

You gulped, the deep baritone timbre he was employing evidently having its intended effect, and rendering you speechless.

“Better watch your back, mesh'la”

You didn't know what that word meant, he’d said it to you before, but that was no comfort as he left your space and went back over to his bunk, placing down the items you had tried to steal. Still rooted in your place and watching him, he hooked his thumbs into his towel, and smirked at you once again when he noticed you standing there.

“you're not gonna try steal my towel too, are you?”

At that point you scrambled from the barracks and back to your own quarters, too embarrassed to do anything dignified.

It had been so long since Hardcase had caught you in the act, that you'd forgotten just how long it had been.

You'd kept your eye on him ever since, and watched out for incoming pranks every moment of every day, but nothing had happened. Hardcase went on like he hadn't even caught you that day, continuing to throw small adulations your way as he passed you by in the corridor, occasionally sitting by you in the mess hall, coming to irritate you when you were working late. Though, unfortunately for you, it wasn't so irritating anymore. Maybe it never had been.

While you were weary of incoming tricks, his presence was such a simple joy that you didn't mind it at all. It was often soothing in a particularly strange way. You didn't speak an awful lot, but Hardcase would fill the silences with stories of his time in deployment, telling you about the tricks that him and his brothers had got up to. The friendship between you worked well because of it. He didn't mind that you were quiet, and in fact seemed to respect you more for it.

You were working in your office, sat on the floor with a cup of caf balanced dangerously on your knee as you tinkered with your malfunctioning datapad. You would be sat at your desk, but the mess that was atop it made doing any sort if work difficult. Besides, you preferred working on the floor, it made the work feel less tedious.

The door slid open and Hardcase strolled in, as if the office were his own, and he walked over to your position with a grin on his face. Without a word he sat down opposite you, cross legged to mirror your posture, his knees almost touching yours as he grabbed the mug of caf from your knee and took a sip. He placed it down on the floor as you eyed him suspiciously.

This behaviour wasn't abnormal for him, and you didn't mind it, but you were still suspicious of any incoming pranks. Your eyes roved his body, looking for anything unusual, but you found nothing. His expression was amused, watching you evaluate him.

“What?” you asked, giving him an uneasy look.

“What?” he asked back.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He wasn't usually bugging you at this time of day, usually he came by during the evening, but right now it was early in the morning. You had gotten up before everyone else to finish up a personal project; fixing your datapad. It had been on the fritz for a few days and it was starting to affect your workflow.

“Why are you awake?” you asked, looking back down to your datapad and flipping the tool in your hand to access a new angle.

You saw him shrug in your peripheral, “why not”

“As good a reason as any, I suppose” you muttered, your focus more drawn to your work than him.

He began tapping his foot gently, watching you as you worked. It was more of a comforting rhythm than a distraction, but you noticed it all the same. Then it stopped, as if he'd been thinking and come to a conclusion.

“Tell me something mesh'la” he spoke quietly, and your gaze snapped up to his, “have you been watching your back like I suggested?”

You frowned, suddenly very unnerved, “yeah, I suppose so”

“You've been watching me? making sure I'm not up to anything” he asked, the hint of a smirk lifting one side of his lips.

You were hesitant, but you answered, “yeah”

He hummed, nodding a little, “and what have you noticed?”

“Nothing”

“Nothing? Mesh'la, I'm hurt” he pouted, his hand rested over his heart, mockingly upset.

You huffed, unimpressed, “stop saying that, I don't know what it means”

In a distinctly agitated manner, you continued on tinkering with your device. Hardcase tipped his head so that he entered your field of view, trying to gain your attention.

“Come on, humour me”

Your eyes flicked up once again, and the look he was giving you made your stomach flip. His smile seemed genuine, so you put down your datapad and tool, clasping your hands together in your lap and giving him your undivided attention.

“I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary” you said honestly, looking for an indication of what he might have done in his reaction.

His eyes narrowed a little, sending you an almost puzzled look, “then what is the ordinary?”

“I don't know…” you trailed off, the response somewhat of a default, but Hardcase looked strangely interested, “I don't need to tell you what you do ordinarily”

He chuckles, “maybe not, but go on anyway”

“Okay…” you gave him a strange look, not understanding why he wanted you to report your findings about his everyday routine. You thought for a moment, looking down to your fiddling hands, “well, you… you’re always more excitable right before meal times, just because you have more energy then. You use your music player when you've been around your brothers for a long time and they're being loud. You sometimes shy away from things if you've said you're going to do them, but otherwise you're impulsive. Uh— not that that’s a bad thing. You're… more focused than your brothers give you credit for, at least, when you are focused it's—”

You halted when you looked up, Hardcase’s expression was so tender that you were startled into silence for a moment.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked hesitantly, your body recoiling unsurely.

“You already knew all that stuff about me before I said to watch your back?” his voice was quiet, quieter than usual, and everything about his demeanour made you put your guard up further.

“Yeah, I mean I—” you stopped, eyes widening as the credit dropped, “wait…”

Hardcase’s lips lifted into an amused smile, though it was no less genuine.

“This was the trick, wasn't it?” you gestured vaguely in the space between you, “getting me to watch out all the time?”

He huffed a small laugh as his grin grew, “maybe, I figured you might torture yourself trying to figure out where it was coming from, so I just let you get on with it”

You shook your head in disbelief of your own foolishness, a light scoff passing your lips as you looked back down to get on with fixing your datapad. You really should have thought of that, but the more you let your mind dwell on it, the more you realised it was the perfect prank for someone as anxious as you.

You heard your name called before you could pick up your datapad once more, letting your eyes wander back to the man before you.

“I don't—” he paused, mouth twisting as if holding himself back before he found the right words, “I didn't know you… knew all that stuff”

“Well, it's just— no one pays attention to me, so it's easy to move around unnoticed” you shrugged nonchalantly, “it was pretty easy to figure you out”

“My brothers haven't figured out half the stuff you just said” he pointed out, his smile bordering on a smirk.

You scoffed quietly, “they're just not paying attention then”

“And you are?”

“I—” you then realised what he was really saying, what he had been saying, or trying to imply. You had to look down with the way a rosy tint spread across your cheeks, mumbling a reply, “I don't know, maybe”

Hardcase leaned forwards, resting an elbow against his knee as he tapped your chin gently, urging you to glance up at him once more. He was a lot closer than he had been, his face only a few inches from yours now, but you didn't back away.

“I did notice you, for the record” he said gingerly, his tone far more reverent than you were prepared for, and your insides constricted at the sound.

You waited for him to continue, make himself clear; you didn’t want to misinterpret what he was saying. Looking between his eyes to try and search for his meaning yourself, he let a small smile lift one side of his mouth to give you a more subdued version of his usual lopsided grin.

“I noticed you watching me, I just didn't know why”

You tilted your head to the side, “why didn't you say anything?”

“Didn't want to get my hopes up” Hardcase shrugged.

A frown creased your brow as you tried to understand, “I don't— um…what?”

He chuckled, the sound so warm and inviting that your heart skipped a beat, “I guess I hoped you were watching me because you were… interested in me, or something”

As his eyes darted to the side, his hand curling around the back of his neck in a sheepish manner, you saw the way his cheeks bloomed with colour, his eyes a little wide as if he'd said something he shouldn't have. You had never seen him act so bashful, and something about it made your stomach erupt into butterflies.

“And if I was?”

“What?” his eyes snapped back to yours, growing even wider.

“Interested in you” you clarified.

Hardcase's mouth hung open slightly, and you couldn't help but let a gentle smile curve your lips at his almost shocked expression.

“You are?” he was now grinning, his voice a whisper of disbelief.

You nodded tentatively, and his hands reached forward to grab you. A squeak left you at the sudden motion, and you had been pulled into his lap before you could even comprehend what's going on. His grin was enough already, but the steadfast grip he had on you made any self-discipline you had crumble into nothing.

“Mesh'la…” he whispered the foreign word as his eyes trailed the lines of your features, his fingers gently brushing across your cheekbone and resting his palm against you.

You offered a fake pout, and he chuckled, running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, “sorry, can't help it”

He didn't seem very apologetic at all, and as much as it drew a laugh from you, it made your intrigue grow. The words were almost on your lips, to ask what the word meant, but Hardcase got there first.

His lips captured yours with an eagerness and fervour that made your heart implode, beating against your chest and his as his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you flush against him. It was good really, that he held you so tightly and kept you rooted in place, otherwise you may have melted into a puddle as his ardour thawed any of the apprehension within you.

You pulled away, unable to hold yourself back from asking, “what does it mean?”

“what?” he blinked at you, his expression almost worried at your sudden departure from his lips.

“Mesh'la” you clarified.

“Oh” he broke out into a grin, rubbing his nose against yours as he chuckled lowly, “I'm not telling”

You huffed with a frown but he just smiled broadly at you, his eyes shining with the usual lick of mischief. Of course he was still going to find a way to toy with you, even now. You shook your head and brought your lips back to his with a fond smile, and he melted against you, a blissful hum sounding in his throat and rumbling through his chest.

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565 @heidnspeak @burningnerdchild @orangez3st

[creativecupcake]

Oh Goddess Beyond Part 2

Warnings: None really other than bad google translate for Rook and a mention of Autism/ADHD.

Chapter 2: The Realm of Rest and First Sight

Part 1 , Part 3

It had been about a month since Yuu’s status as Champion had been discovered. Within the first week Azul, Riddle, Vil, and the staff had created an airtight contract for all the NRC staff and students to sign. With word that it had to do with the Goddess and her Champion, everyone was quick to sign. When Yuu was revealed to the masses and they mentioned working towards the Goddess’ return, the halls of Night Raven College echoed with cheers. Students worked together to get the school buildings prepared for her. Upon hearing their housewardens and others mentioning that the Goddess herself directed them to classes and practices, students began to pour their all into their studies, sports, and club activities. While students still butted heads over various topics, the situation had actually brought the college together. It had even become a bigger source of pride when someone had mentioned that THEY had been chosen over their rival school, Royal Sword Academy.

During the month the Housewardens had met with staff and other selected students to investigate the magic mirror in Ramshackle.They had managed to confirm the mirror was acting like a door and had a strong tie to the Goddess. Staff like Trein and Crowley had reached out to other institutions to ask for historical records or older tomes of spells. While Housewardens like Leona, Kalim, and Malleus had reached out to their family or national libraries. Students and staff had kept up with lectures and classes, but many subjects had been shifted to aid with all of the work for a portal. Most of the students were glad to follow their contract, but some had tried to let it slip to outside sources. And, oh, if you thought Azul’s contracts were strict before… not like anyone would argue with the punishment. This was for their Goddess, everything had to be perfect!

On Yuu’s end, he felt so conflicted. He’d come to feel a much greater connection Twisted Wonderland as the days passed, and while he didn’t have magic himself he did feel the pull of magic all around him. He’d slowly been regaining memories of Amira and what seemed to be his family, though they all seemed to be of his childhood. As he gained more of himself he’d actually begun working with Vil, Rook, and Jamil (with Kalim’s credit card) to find more of his personal style as well as remodeling Ramshackle based on what he’d remembered of Amira’s preferences. Yuu felt more and more like he fit within his own skin but the hole in his chest that ached for his best friend was growing. He would dream about her smiling, speaking comforting words, holding him as he cried. She was his home, she was what he had previously been so desperate to return to. Yuu once again found himself playing with the charm tied to his braid. Smiling, he remembered Amira giving it to him, telling him she made it with her own hands as she revealed she had a blue one. 

(A quick doodle to get my ideas for Yuuto down. I will be posting this and one without his jacket separately later.)

Yuu glanced around the main parlor of Ramshackle, all of his friends scattered around, doing one task or another.

“I did it…” Idia’s statement cut through the chatter of the room. “I did it!” His flaming hair seems to jump to life as he and Ortho raced up to Yuu’s room. Everyone quickly scrambled to follow, of course fighting over who would be first. Reaching his bedroom Yuu found the Ignihyde duo connecting a large monitor to the magic mirror.

“Shroud, explain,” Malleus cut in, glaring at the two. Everyone had been so nervous to even move the mirror, worried that any little thing could cut off the connection to the Goddess.

“Nii-chan and I found an ancient spell from the Isle of Woe archives! Back when the Goddess talked about communications and other technologies with the King of the Underworld she gave him a spell for a scrying mirror!” Ortho practically vibrated as he helped Idia hook up cords to the mirror. “Idia-nii found a way to connect a monitor to the mirror so we can see the Goddess!”

“W-well,” Idia giggled as he set the monitor up on a small table. “We haven’t found a way to physically bring her here yet, but we can see her and learn all we can to get NRC ready for the OP boss battle.” 

“Oi, Radish Sprout,” Leona eyed the oddly energetic duo. “You saying you can full on see into her Rest Realm all on your own, with just an old scrying spell?” 

“Well- I mean. Not JUST a scrying spell,” Idia seemed to shrink back, fiddling with a zipper on his jacket. “The spell, the mirror, a large source of magic, and Rook-shi’s signature spell.” 

“Oh! Mon Dieu, moi?” Rook dramatically gasped, eyes turning to him. 

“What’s so special about Umineko’s unique magic?” Floyd pouted, as he and some others glared at the smiling huntsman. 

“Oh! Rook’s spell helped us track the others to the Isle of Woe!” Epel chipped in, remembering just how scary Rook’s unique magic could be. 

“That’s right, we were able to track them even beyond the magic meant to hide the place,” Yuu muttered, glancing at the mirror with some hope. 

“Correct, you are Epel Felmier-san and Champion,” Ortho cheered, displaying a holographic screen. “Rook Hunt-senpai’s spell allows him to track others across great distances and behind barriers! Thus, getting him to focus on both the Champion and magic mirror will allow Nii-chan to direct a large amount of magic through the mirror and find the Goddess on the other side! Estimations give this plan a 97% chance of success!” That hit the room like a bomb. A true look at their Goddess. Ortho’s predictions were usually accurate and Idia was unparalleled in technomagic. 

“We have something that may help those odds!” Ruggie cheered, wide eyes looking at. Leona. 

“Oi, Ruggie-” 

“Think about it Leona! The old King of Beasts hunting spell!” Ruggie was starting to bounce in place, clearly getting excited. 

“Uh, that old clear sight spell,” Leona had a smirk slowly growing on his face. “All beastmen are supposed to be able to tap into our ancient ancestors and clear our sight for a hunt.”  

“Well, well, us Merfolk have something similar. A spell meant to guide us through the darkest depths of the seas.” Azul stepped in, Jade and Floyd at his side.  

“Updating calculations. Estimated at a 99.8% chance of success!” Ortho cheered.  

“We should gather the staff and make sure all preparations for the spells are as perfect as possible.” Riddle brought up. 

“Not to mention gathering all the merfolk and beastmen in the school,” Jack added, nervously rubbing his neck. “Not everyone will know the spells and needs to practice.” 

“We have books on such old spells,” Lilia brings up, motioning to the Diasomnia group. “There are old ways meant to focus the spells like spell circles.” 

“Yes,” Malleus smiled, his tail invisibly wagging. “I believe it would benefit us for Pomfiore to aid us in drawing the ancient spells, as they need to be done cleanly.” 

“Pomfiore has studied writing ancient spells before as they were quite elegant,” Vil nodded in agreement. 

“Oh! Oh!” Kalim burst in, before being pulled back by Jamil. “Scarabia has been studying the old star charts from the Sorcerer of the Sands! He found a constellation that helped him channel the Goddess!” 

“He’s right,” Jamil said, feeling like he’d grown a second head. “The constellation is meant to appear back in a week’s time.” 

“Then we have a week until we see her.” Yuu’s words left no room to argue, everyone getting ready to do their part. “We have a week to make all preparations perfect to find her.”

Arrow Afar!

A simple bedroom, on the smaller side. It felt cozy, comfortable, like home. A bed piled high with plush creatures and warm blankets, a small bookshelf littered with textbooks and papers, and hidden in the corner is a dress mannequin and a few bolts of fabric. It was so simple, but it felt more like home than anyplace they had ever been. Muffled voices could be heard a bit off, before a door opened and footsteps approached. 

“Oh there you are,”a honeyed voice said as the view changed. And there she was, beauty incarnate. The Goddess who was loved by so many. She was more than she’d ever imagined: warm round cheeks, moon-touched hair tied up in braided buns, and dark eyes that seemed to hide a rainbow of colors. She was gorgeous, but felt approachable; like she was pulling all those that saw her in. 

Sitting in the palm of her hand they saw her sit, close to their original position, a desk? What were they connected to? A mirror like on their end? No, she seemed to reach out to them and touch… something, and a transparent box opened in front of them. 

“Oh sweet Sevens, we’re in her phone!” Idia cheered, rambling in the background about what that could mean. 

“I suppose that makes sense,” Lilia began thinking aloud. “Scrying mirrors were an ancient phone in a way, and the Goddess did tell the King of the Underworld about her advanced technologies.” 

“Just look at how clean her skin and makeup are,” Vil choked, trying to keep his composure in front of the literal definition of perfection. 

“Oi! Her unique style is magnifique! It truly highlights her natural form!” Rook gushed while most of the freshmen looked away as her mesh top was a little on the revealing side. The room immediately cut to silence as the Goddess spoke again. 

“Now, let’s check on my boys today,” she said as the image of a mirror with a raven in the center appeared. The room stiffened, this was it! Her presence took over the whole school, even the dorm rooms felt her arrival. “Oh, Rook and Idia’s birthdays are this month, I should give them a little extra love.” Cut to the mentioned men freezing in place as they processed what was just said. “Let’s see, end of year exams should be coming up, so Ace and Deuce really need to get some extra lessons.” The duo couldn’t decide if they were happy to be her focus, or upset at being called out. “I should also send Kalim for some extra lessons so he can prepare and Jamil can rest for a moment.” Jamil knew in that moment he would pray to the Goddess ten times as much and make more offerings. “Spelldrive also has a match at the end of the year, so I’ll get Leona, Ruggie, and Epel to take some extra flight lessons.” 

Normally, when the boys felt compelled to take extra lessons they felt a warm air and a sense of encouragement, energy, drive, etc. But this time? This time it was so much more. It felt like warm arms were wrapping them in a hug as the Goddess’ own voice whispered encouragement in their ears. The boys that had been called out quickly went about to their destinations, happy to have the Goddess’ direct attention. The others would not admit it but they were seething with jealousy. 

“Finally I’ll give my SSR support Idia and SSR tank Ortho a little charge boost,” she said, tapping her screen a few times as the brothers felt a sudden swell of energy. 

“Energy output decreased by 78%, magic intake up 65%, booster speed and stabilization increased by 52%. Goddess given upgrades!” Ortho cheered as Idia hid behind his hood, a pink shade taking over his hair and face. 

“Now,” they turned back to the screen at the Goddess’ shift in tone. “Time for some work.” With that she set the phone down and they heard a sound like a bell. Luckily the phone was still facing her, now displaying that she sat in front of a dual screen monitor set up and keyboard. As it turned on she pulled out a set of plush headphones and an attached mic. 

“Hey everyone, hope you’ve all had a great day. We’re waiting for others to join in.” 

“Oh my gosh!” Idia screamed as he and Ortho almost leaped forward. “The Goddess is a streamer!” Idia didn’t need to seem more than the basics. He’d watched so many streamers so he was able to easily recognize a set up. 

“What does that mean for us?” Riddle asked, not really knowing much about social media culture. “Could this help us reach her?”

“Cay-cay can say for sure we can learn way more about her,” Cater called out, leaning against Riddle. 

“It’s true,” Vil cut in, as he examined the Goddess, her set up, and her environment. “Most streamers have quite the personal relationship with their followers. It would allow us to get a clearer view of her personality, her interests, her hobbies, and maybe even her desires for Twisted Wonderland.” That gave the remaining boys so many ideas. They paid close attention to her stream as she began, it turned out that she used a virtual model (a V-streamer as Idia pointed out). Her virtual identity looked similar to her, with a more ethereal outfit, a pair of glass wings, and a blue charm tied into her hair. 

She talked to her viewers as equals, discussing video games (cue Idia and Ortho cheering), her love of designing clothes and playing with makeup (Vil and Rook had a whispered discussion on this point), one fan even brought up how she was in school for business (happy octopus noises). Then a change in topic that they weren’t expecting. 

‘So have you gotten things ready for Rook’s birthday?’ 

“Oh yeah, I’m all ready! Have you seen this cute PJ set he has?” And with that a photo of Rook in his nightcap and vintage pajamas appeared on her screen. You could hear a pin drop in Ramshackle, before chaos erupted. The Goddess had pictures of them!? Who? What pictures? At what times? (Did they have makeup? -Vil) Even though she had called some of them out by name earlier, it seemed to finally be dawning on them what that meant. But that also led the chat down an interesting path. 

‘Rara-chan, who is your fave boy in Twisted Wonderland?’ This got everyone’s focus as they eyed one another.

“Oh, I don’t have a favorite guy.” Of course! Their Goddess was so fair and loved all her creations equal- “But I do have tops in certain categories.” Record scratch. Cue the competitive atmosphere. 

‘Oh? What categories do you have Rara?’

“So far my main categories are Most Beautiful (Vil starts sweating), Most Handsome, and Cutest. With a separate category for my goofy lil guys.” By this time the other boys had returned, with the staff in tow. “Most beautiful of course goes to Vil-” Vil was practically glowing with pride. “With Azul and Silver right behind.” Lilia cheered for his son as the tweels teased a very flustered octopus. 

“If we are talking most handsome is hands down Leona-” He tried to hide it but Leona was more than glad to hear he was number one to his dear Goddess. “With Jack and Jamil. All three of them are just such handsome men.” Jack’s tail was wagging a mile a minute while Jamil was trying not to pass out from the heat in his face. 

“Cutest is Epel,” Oh, the poor apple boy was so torn on how to feel. “I mean his fighting nature and accent make him even cuter.” Never mind, she likes his accent! “With Riddle and Kalim rounding out the top three.” Ah. Riddle’s face matched his hair and Kalim was happily chatting to Jamil about how both of them were in the Goddess’ favorites. 

“As for the last category, we have the goobers. The guys that I just love for their personality. That group is Rook, Floyd, and Lilia. The three of them just make me giggle.” Oh dear, Floyd should really not be picking fun at Jade, think we’re gonna have a brawl. All the mentioned guys were quite happy knowing that they held the Goddess’ favor, but those left out were shooting daggers. 

‘What about Malleus? Why isn’t he in your most handsome?’ 

“Huh? Oh, that’s more on me and my AuDHD.” Say what? Some like Riddle had knowledge about Autism and ADHD, but their Goddess had them? “When I categorize things I’m a bit more rigid than most. So boys like Malleus who is beautiful and handsome kinda can’t be top at either catergory.” Well that helped ease the tension Malleus had. “But now that I think about it Malleus would be at the top of another list.” Oh, so now we have a dragon acting like a puppy. “Malleus is really relatable to me, with his hyper fixation on Gargoyles and some of his trouble making friends, I can relate to it. Same reason I appreciate Jade’s love of mushrooms and understand Floyd’s quick mood changes. I mean I’ve got more than one hyperfixation and when the dopamine stops firing I can drop it so fast and move on.” They watched her lean back in her seat, looking a bit thoughtful. “It’s nice to be able to see someone who may relate to me.” 

‘What about your favorite teacher?’ 

“Uh. Well Crewel is really cool and it’s sweet to see him care for his ‘pups’. Not to mention I would adore getting to talk fashion and design with him and Vil!” Oh no. Stop! They are going to explode, stop praising them! “I also love Trein and how he takes charge of his students. Like when they had to deal with the…incident at Noble Bell, he took charge even though he was having issues. Plus I love getting to see such a loving father and husband. And he and Lucius look so refined.” Huh. Well Trein and Crewel are now trading words over who her favorite is. Please stop them before it gets worse. 

‘What about the staff over all?’ 

“Sam.” What? “I absolutely adore Sam and how he interacts with the other staff and students. Him and Azul sort of rivaling as business men-” Azul refused to look at Sam’s smug face. “Plus his sales events and seeing his crafty nature is adorable.” Trein and Crewel are now debating about teaming up to take on Sam. “I love all the staff at Night Raven though, they all really bring out the best in their students. Even if their students are a bunch of arrogant hard heads.” Oh, they loved that look, a proud smirk painting her lips, teasing twinkle in her eye. 

‘If you had to choose an absolute favorite boy tho?’ 

Groaning and rolling her eyes she glared at her monitor. “If you make me pick one boy, then the answer is obvious. Especially since he’s half of my favorite duo.” Favorite? Duo? Oh, the boys were spinning, thinking of all the duos that tended to pair up. There was Ace and Deuce, Kalim and Jamil, the tweels, Trey and Riddl- “Ortho!” Come again? “Ortho and Idia are peak cuteness and I love them being little menaces. I mean did you see Ortho’s shit talking when the guys were trying to get things done at the Isle of Woe?” Excuse me, what? “Ortho is such a cute lil bro and I love seeing him hype Idia up.” It seems that chat was just as confused as the rest of the guys as they looked at a self-satisfied Idia and a shining Ortho. 

“Ok, ok. One sec chat. I see you being mean to my boys but one sec. Lemme make a call and see what you think after.” None of them knew where she was going, but they would just get back at the Ignihyde duo later. 

“Hi hi Lana,” she started, greeting the second streamer (a chibi had appeared on her screen). 

“Hey Rara, what’s up? You normally don’t call during streams.” 

“Ok, so I’m doing a challenge with my chat. I’m going to describe two people to you. Could be anyone. And you tell me the first names that come to mind.” 

“Oooo. A challenge. I’m game girl!” 

“Ok. First one: Big brother, socially anxious, hates being out of his room. Will 100% stare at a screen 24/7 if allowed. Overprotective of his baby brother to a fault. Will talk shit the minute he feels in control or safe. Blue-” 

“Oh that’s Ghost!” 

“Ok. Next up: Little brother. Tiny, tiny baby. Cute but is willing to fight, especially if you mess with his big broth-” 

“Toast! I mean you made it so obvious making them a duo!” Lana laughed, cutting off the description. A tiny smile grew on her face. 

“For those of you in chat who don’t know Ghost and Toast are my babies.” Pictures of two blue grey cats popped up on her monitor. “Ghosty loves TV and video games, and Toasty loves to make bread and run around in his kitty wheelchair.”

(Reference for Ghost, Toast, and Toast’s wheelchair)

A cat’s trill came from somewhere in the room. Suddenly a pair of yellow eyes stared at the phone as Ghost jumped into his owner’s lap. 

“So I was right?” Lana joked. 

“Nope! I was actually describing Idia and Ortho from Twisted Wonderland.” A picture of the brothers popped up.

“Oh my gosh! It’s like a human Ghost and Toast! That’s so cool!” 

“Thanks Lana.” 

“No prob, Rara.” Lana hung up and chat returned to the screen. 

“I don’t really have a favorite person in all Twisted Wonderland, but I do have those I really like.” Ghost trilled again as he rubbed on the Goddess’ chin before staring at her phone again. 

‘That makes sense. But what about Yuu? They can be so bland, what do you think of them?’ 

Oh, that hit hard. Yuu had been almost like a passenger since they had been able to see Amira’s face. He’d been practically frozen in place, sometimes snickering as the others reacted, but focused solely on her. Grim had jumped into his arms, sensing his discomfort. 

“Yuu… Yuu is a difficult topic. It may just be me, and I may be projecting, but I see Yuu as the strongest and kindest person. Yuu isn’t a blank slate, and I see the world through their eyes, but I see them being the one helping all the others as best they can.” A yawn cut off her discussion and everyone realized that the sun seemed to have long set behind the woman. “I can get into my relationship with Yuu another day, but I have to call it a night. Remember to take care of yourself my little weasels.” With that she ended the stream, stepping away from the desk and leaving their sight.

Yuu wasn’t fully satisfied but to hear Amira talk so kindly about him eased the ache in his heart. Everyone began to mutter and discuss what they had learned before she returned to their view. By now she had changed into pajamas and was wrapping something around her hair. Grabbing her phone she crawled into the small bed they had seen. They could catch a glance of a tiny kitten on her bed before they were placed facing the ceiling. 

“Night Toasty.” 

And with that soft breaths took over the sound and all they saw was a dark room. 

“So what do we do now?” Leona lazily stretched out on the new Ramshackle couch as everyone gathered round. 

“Since we are in her phone I think I can get my technomagic to help us get into her computer and check that she’s doing alright in that world.” Idia and Ortho had been thinking of how to handle her technology since they had realized she used her phone to check on their world. 

“Well it’s obvious the one True Queen values our education and achievements since she is encouraging us to study,” cue glares at Ace and Deuce who refused to meet his eyes. “And we can’t keep an eye on her at all times, how should we handle this?” 

“I can get my friends on the other side and the ghosts to keep an eye on her at night. We all need to keep well rested if we plan to get her here in a timely manner.” 

“I think that’s best,” Trein agreed, clearly having been thinking over this issue. “All of us will need to work carefully and quickly to get the Goddess here in respectable time. The staff and I will create a rotating schedule between the dorms to keep watch.” 

“We also think it best that only Housewardens, their Vices, and other selected students should enter Ramshackle to keep watch on our Lady.” Crewel stood up to look the young men in the eye. “Others may fall weak to her beauty or give into temptation at being so close to perfection. We need all pups to be on their best to make sure nothing occurs before she arrives. All dorms will be kept in the loop and we will make preparations for her imminent arrival.” 

“We’ve already found a way to see into her world, now we just need to focus on getting there physically.” Yuu took over as they prepared to call it a night. “We can all see that she cares for us dearly and wants the best for us, so lets make sure she has the best upon arrival.”

And there’s my second Chapter! Hope y’all enjoyed. Kinda rushed getting a drawing of Yuuto to go with this but I had fun with his design, especially since I don’t really draw guys. Have fun reading and feel free to message me any questions about characters or the AU.

[lostintransist]

Falling Into Step While Falling Out of Line

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish Has ADHD

AO3

Johnny stared at the computer. Arms crossed, brows touching, jaw working back and forth, he stared. This fucking report needed to be done in an hour and he hadn’t started. The words were there, buzzing around in his mind. Trying to catch them and force them out through his fingers was like trying to catch minnows in the open ocean. The freeze response only captured him it wasn’t life or death.

The minutes ticked away. As each one disappeared behind a new number the tension in his spine mounted. It was as if his mind hid the switches he needed to flip to move. He would give anything for a gun to appear at his head. At least then he could bypass the maze of his mind.

When ten minutes remained for the report to be submitted without Price ramming a broomstick up his ass, Johnny found he could move again. Fingers flying across the keys he slammed out the report with seconds to spare as he smashed the submit button. Disgust watered his self-hatred. Why did this happen to him every time? All reports, washing his dishes, even remembering to shower without Simon nudging him into it.

Pushing himself up to standing Johnny slammed the inoffensive office chair under the desk. The daily drudgery of existence wore on him. Days when he wasn’t out on a job were harder. Jobs allowed him to focus, to simply be in and of the moment. Setting himself at a clip Johnny stalked across the base. The quagmire of his thoughts sapped at his will.

Slamming into a body he stopped moving.

His hands shot out to catch the person he had so rudely hit like a freight train. The civilian communicator with a bright smile. She smiled warmly up at him.

“Sorry about that, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” she took a step back, placing a respectable amount of space between their bodies. Johnny crossed his arms.

“Sorry lass, my doing.”

She waved away his comment.

“It’s fine. I actually have something for you,” she dug around in her pockets as Johnny waited.

When she found what she was looking for, a small sack with the drawstring closed tight, she held it out to him.

“And what is it?”

He unfolded his arm enough to accept the offering.

“Do you remember several months back we had a conversation about ADHD and how you seemed so surprised by all the things I mentioned were related to it?”

“Aye,” he dug his fingers into the fabric, separating the two sides.

“Well, I thought you might appreciate a gift.”

Johnny dumped the contents of the bag into his other hand. Four small oval pills spilled into his palm. He looked at him, uncomprehending.

He opened his mouth to ask but got cut off.

“They are a really low dose and should wear off in a few hours but if they help you can get in with Doc and get a prescription of your own, right? Let me know how it goes, I’m curious if it will help you as much as it helps me.”

She patted his arm as she passed him by. Johnny stared at the small pills for a moment longer before tucking them back into the small bag and shoving them deep into his pocket. It would take days before he could muster the bravery to try a single one.

❍❍❍

The day started bad and ended worse. Johnny woke to Simon being gone from their bed. All he had wanted to do had been to snuggle until he couldn’t feel his bones stabbing at him from the inside anymore.

He found no peace at breakfast, seemly everyone needed him before his tea had finished steeping. Morning drills went poorly, with one recruit having to visit medical for a broken jaw. By noon Johnny wanted to crawl so deep into the earth that the sun and everyone else would never find him. Instead, he pulled out a few guns that needed cleaning from the storage and began to break them apart.

The pills from the communicator lived in his pocket. He hadn’t told Simon about them. Unsure if he would try them, and didn’t want to deal with Simon’s too observant eyes on him. When a pistol sat disassembled on the table before him he paused.

What the hell, he thought to himself, why not try one?

He swallowed the pill dry.

With a shrug, he went back to his task. Picking up each piece and examining it for damage before wiping it clean and oiling the parts that needed it. Finished with one he set it to the side. As he began to break down the second gun he noticed his hands. He became viscerally aware of them. They moved with ease and a speed that almost shocked him. He had done this same task at least a thousand times and only now noticed that he didn’t have to think about each move of his hands. The flick of his eyes started to make him nauseous. Why were his eyes moving so fast?

Setting the barrel down with a clink Johnny stood abruptly. He didn’t have to think about standing. Looking internally he couldn’t have been more shocked if a grenade had landed in front of him. The bees were gone. The constant hum of thoughts and feelings and general nonsense had disappeared. Casting his eyes around him Johnny searched for something to fill the void in his brain. Finding himself alone he sat down again and finished his task. The ease of completing the cleaning and reassembly of the gun enraged him.

He had to think through every step of everything he ever did. The only time he could move on instinct had been on jobs; when his and everyone else's continued breathing rested on him being able to move before thinking. Tucking the guns back into their cabinet Johnny rested his forehead against the cool metal doors.

He had never seriously contemplated the fact he might have ADHD. His brain worked fast, oftentimes too fast for him to get ahead of and he ended up in some pretty bad situations as a kid because of it. Even now his mouth ran faster than he could stop most times. It was the reason he had been banned from so many important meetings. Asking generals if they are fucking stupid tends to not be received well.

Years of practice had given him the ability to let out just enough of himself. So much of his experience lived under the surface of his skin. Not even Simon knew the extent of how hard he worked to keep up with everyone else in the 141. That man held Johnny’s whole heart and he could still not find the words to tell him.

Tension started behind his sternum. Deciding he needed to move his body Johnny headed for the training room. He observed every person as he passed them, contemplating if they could move, think, do with such ease as he now did. With each person he passed his anger grew.

The training room, while not full, had more people than he cared to see right now. Nodding to a few familiar faces he went to the locker room to change. The decisions of which shorts, shirt, if he should wrap his hands all found immediate answers. The cacophony of thoughts he suffered under did not barrage him. No demands for questions yet unasked sapped at his strength.

The rage grew.

He chose a loose pair of gym shorts, a compression shirt, and yes he would wrap his hands. Popping in headphones he turned on his heaviest base music and set the volume just louder than tolerable.

Rage.

Stepping from the locker room he locked his eyes on the punching bag suspended from the ceiling. Johnny noticed but ignored the way everyone watched him. Fists moving became the sole focus. Had he ever been able to completely concentrate on one thing? Even when seconds ticked away on a bomb in front of him, hadn’t he been thinking of how to say goodbye, wondering where they would lay his headstone, sent silent apologies to his team.

A pit opened in his chest, a black hole eclipsing everything.

Johnny hit resistance he hadn’t expected, the shock moving up his arm and settling in his shoulder. Someone must have told Simon. Large hands held the bag from swinging wildly like it had been. Lungs searing with each breath Johnny stared at his lover's face. Well, as much of his face as he could see. Simon wore his soft balaclava today. His eyes were softer than the mask he wore.

“Johnny.”

They watched each other as Johnny took deep breaths, hands hanging loose at his side. He didn’t want to talk about why his knuckles had split under the tape.

“I can’t do this here Si.”

Simon nodded once at Johnny’s quiet words. Stepping around the bag Simon slid a hand up and over Johnny’s shoulder. One tight squeeze and then he used gentle pressure, pushing forward.

Johnny moved with the touch. Letting himself be led. If he stopped moving then he would start sobbing. He hadn’t cried since he had been sixteen and kicked out for the final time. Listening to their footsteps combine became the lifeline he held onto.

Once Simon closed the door behind them Johnny couldn’t stop his lip from trembling.

“What happened Johnny?”

His whole jaw quivered now.

“I can think.”

“Aye, you can always think,” Simon pushes him back onto their bed. Setting a chair in front of the bed he starts to care for Johnny’s hands.

Johnny watches as his lover carefully ignores the tears streaking down his face.

“Every day half of my energy goes to functioning. Did you know I have to think about standing, moving, being? One tiny pill and I can stand without the effort of thinking through each minute movement I need to rise. My brain has never been quiet. It sounds like a jet turbine in there. All. The. Time.”

Simon finished on one hand and started on the other. They both ignored the blood that dropped onto their feet.

“I have struggled all my life to get ahead of my own thoughts. To stop the word vomit. I have to outthink myself to keep myself safe. I..”

Simon looked at him now, the lightest sheen of tears in his eyes. He gently cleaned the breaks in Johnny’s skin, stemming the bleeding.

“My anxiety is gone,” Johnny blubbered. “It’s like discovering I have been using a musket when everyone around me gets to use a fully automatic rifle and I am still accomplishing more than they are.”

Hands reached, resting on either side of his face. Johnny reached up and pulled the mask off of Simon. Placing a kiss on Johnny’s brow Simon followed it up by resting their foreheads together.

Simon’s heart ached. The whole of his love lived in the man between his hands and he was hurting. Simon had never been good with words, even less so when it came to Johnny.

“What do you need?”

Johnny sobbed out a laugh.

“God, I just need a nap.”

Simon’s brows rose; Johnny didn’t nap. The man barely slept.

“Want some company?”

“Absolutely.”

Johnny toed off his shoes as Simon unlaced his boots. The men scooted onto the bed until they found a comfortable position tucked against each other. Simon held his lover as he slipped into the first sound sleep he had ever seen from the man. 

Masterlist

[blacknedsoul-blog]

A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD

So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.

Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?

But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:

I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.

In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.

I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.

You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.

If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.

If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.

Anyway, let's get started.

What is ADHD?

According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:

Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.

Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.

Hyperactivity

One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.

In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.

Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.

Annabel.

Doesn't.

Sit.

Still.

Never.

It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.

This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.

Emotional Dysregulation

The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.

This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.

Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.

It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.

Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.

Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.

And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.

If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.

We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.

I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"

Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."

Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.

Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?

And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:

Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.

Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).

My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.

Codependency

Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.

As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.

The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.

This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.

But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.

The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.

And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?

What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.

Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.

But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.

If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.

Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards

Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.

New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.

So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."

One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.

If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.

It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.

Erratic Communication

When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.

One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.

Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.

That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.

This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.

Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.

Drinks that are like a pill

Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.

And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.

Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.

You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.

If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.

Boredom

We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.

Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.

Boredom

Is

Fucking

Murder

Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.

Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)

In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.

So…

Um…

…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.

Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Hi there, I've been wanting to start a new podcast and seen a lot of people talking about Malevolent and The Magnus Archives (I thought they were the same podcast for the longest time...). Anyway, it seems like maybe you've listened to both of them? Do you have a recommendation of which I should start with? I know almost nothing about either of them lol

hi! i'm far from a podcast connoisseur, but i have listened to the entirety of both tma and malevolent and i'm a huge fan of both, so i'd be happy to give a pitch for them haha. i will try to give the vibes without spoilers.

i listened to tma first, and the premise is that everything you hear is being recorded onto a tape recorder, primarily by the head archivist of the magnus institute, which is a private facility that collects and researches statements of paranormal experiences. each episode is jonathan sims, the archivist, recording one of these statements, and then giving his (usually skeptical and scathing) opinion at the end, along with what his assistants' research has turned up on the events of the story.

it's a very slow-burn show, as it takes 20 episodes to even hear another voice and 40 episodes before Shit Gets Real. things shake up a lot at that point, but i don't want to give spoilers.

it's extremely well-made, and i think one of its biggest flaws is also one of its biggest accomplishments, which is the incredibly intricate, non-linear web of characters it weaves through all 5 seasons. a name will be mentioned in passing in a statement, a description of a person mentioned in another, and then a couple seasons later it turns out they're the same character and vitally important to the plot.

(i call that a flaw bc my adhd ass had a HARD time keeping track of all these names, remembering who was who and what happened to them, and mixing up names pronounced similarly. you can consult the wiki, but that will also give you spoilers.)

the story-telling is superb, the characters are great, the romance subplot is wonderful... i think the only thing that isn't exciting for me is that i'm not really a horror fan for the sake of horror itself, so i don't absolutely love listening to the all the standalone statements, which make up the majority of the show. i really like the plot and character work that surrounds the statements.

now, malevolent is often put in the same category because they're both about english men experiencing The Horrors, but the listening experience is VERY different. while tma is like listening to a repressed autistic man tell you a spooky bedtime story, malevolent is being thrown into the shoes of a blind man running for his life while a demon screams in his ear to run faster because the monster is about to eat them.

malevolent is about arthur lester, a 1930s private investigator who comes to in his office, suddenly blind, with a voice in his head and a corpse at his feet. he's just opened a book that was imprisoning an eldritch being, who has subsequently taken up residence in his head and stolen his eyesight.

arthur and the entity, who later chooses to name himself john doe, have no choice but to work together to navigate the world to both figure out what just happened and how they're going to separate, and outrun the powerful forces that want to kill arthur and take john back.

since arthur is blind, john has to narrate everything he sees and describe what arthur needs to do, which works extremely well for an audio drama format. it also works really well to inflict a very visceral type of horror, as we're in the same position as arthur, "blind" to what's happening until john tells us.

while the plot is interesting and the messages are, imo, good ones, the main selling point for me is entirely john and arthur's relationship. they start out as unwilling allies, arthur terrified and john manipulative. slowly, they work their way toward tentative friendship, as they bicker and discover that their love language is being just absolute cunts to each other and divorcing every ten minutes. by virtue of being forced together in their "get along body", they figure out how to sand down those rough edges, how to understand each other and work out their problems, how to apologize and open up and trust each other.

eventually, they become so entangled that they are essentially one being, with enough love for each other to defy the gods and crawl through a blizzard on broken legs in the mere hope of being reunited.

where tma is the asexual podcast (since jon is canonically ace), malevolent is sort of the aromantic podcast. arthur is not quite canonically aro (i have a rant for why i think it's creator-confirmed, but it's not confirmed in-text), but he's as aro-coded as i've ever seen, and him and john are as qpr-coded as i've ever seen. the creator says that they're never going to be confirmed romantic (though he's fine with shipping), but they've also said "i love you" to each other, and it just really warms my little aro heart.

the same as tma, i think malevolent's biggest flaw is also it's biggest strength, which is that it's literally a one-man show. harlan guthrie writes, edits, soundscapes, and voices EVERY single character, which i think is incredible. i only call it a flaw because there are times when i do think he could have maybe used a co-writer or editor on some rough areas, and because it's a common complaint that there aren't more women in the podcast.

i'm not sure i can recommend which one to start with, as to me they have very different vibes. maybe just listen to episode one of each and see which one fits your mood better. i think they're both excellent, just not actually as similar as we like to joke they are.

so yeah, that's my long schpiel about my two favorite podcasts lol 😊 feel free to ask if you have more questions!

[fbfh]

Curiosity is a Wonderful thing - ch.13 (alt)

wc: 4.9k

genre: political thriller (ish), slow burn, best friends to lovers

pairing: slowburn ben x reader, mal x ben, homoerotic tension between mal and evie

warnings: mentions of back alley cosmetic procedures, questionable needles (for botox not drugs), detailed descriptions of emotional flashbacks, themes of c-ptsd, mentions of emotional abuse and child neglect, falling into old dynamics, the parents are all implied to be narcissistic and emotionally abusive

this chapter has been edited to remove themes of EDs, body dysmorphia, and similar themes. this does not effect the over all plot of the chapter. stay safe babeses, I love you <3

!!LINK TO THE ORIGINAL CH., READ WARNINGS!!

summary: much like king arthur, you meet with a lady in a lake. Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos get a "fun surprise" that's more of a slap to the face. Mal decides to stress bake. There's a confrontation in the kitchen.

song recs: twisted - aviva, runs in the family - amanda palmer, thick skull - paramore, trigger - hayley williams, mad hatter - melanie martinez

a/n: shout out to my psychiatrist for bumping up my adhd meds!!!! love you kim!!!!!! literally wrote this in one sitting and I could not be happier. also surprised myself w this one a little lol

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl  @sunshineangel-reads @strawberry-cake1 @dustyinkpages @kiara7777 @pain-in-the-ashe

When acquiring a particularly interesting piece of information, especially when it is in one's best interest to keep the source of said information confidential, it isn't uncommon to use the phrase, “a little birdy told me”. Most find this to be nothing more than a twisting turn of phrase, unless that someone would happen to be from Wonderland. Wonderlandians, you see, have quite a way with words - especially those which come from birds. When one has heard a word from birds, that's a sure sign that time is of the essence. It was birds that saved Snow White's life, rushing through the forest to warn the dwarves, as well as many other less popularized accounts of such heroism and quick witted messenging. 

All this is to say, if a little birdy tells you something, it’s in your best interest to believe them. 

The bird before you in this instance, is a rather frantic little chickadee. She swooped down to find you, losing a few feathers in the process. “Miss Liddell! Miss Liddell!” She cries, fluttering over to you, worked up into quite the tizzy. “Oh dear, Miss Liddell-”

She chirps and sputters, trying to gather her scrambled thoughts. 

“What is it?” You ask, brow furrowing as you lean in to listen.

“Oh Miss Liddell, it’s about Ben.”

Those three words caught your attention firmly, like a dodo in the jaws of a bandersnatch. 

“What about Ben?” You ask, voice growing lower and more urgent. 

“She- she’s down at the lake, you must go see her!” 

“See who?” You implore, trying to understand the bits and pieces falling frantically from her beak. 

“There’s just no time! Come quickly!”

You scurry across the school grounds for several minutes before plunging into the forest. You pause, calling up to her. “Ms. Chickadee!”

She flutters back over. 

“What, what? We have to go!”

You remember suddenly that you can get there much more quickly with a rabbit hole. Once you’ve explained this to her, she nods frantically. After a quick slip into Wonderland, you pop right back out on the shore of the enchanted lake. In your haste, you nearly tumble right into the lake.

“Oh- goodness!” You exclaim, scrambling back onto the shore. Your skirt is damp and muddy, as are your hands. But you pay no mind to that, nor the snags now torn into your stockings. Your breath heaves the chilly evening air as clouds roll in, making the skies seem even darker, and you look around frantically. You’re unsure what you’re even looking for, but you trust the brave Chickadee who delivered your message. 

There’s a trilling noise above you, and you look up to find Ms. Chickadee in the flesh - or rather, in the feathers - as she lands on a nearby branch. Her little body heaves as she catches her breath, and she chirps out another trilling note. A moment later, the water of the lake ripples, beginning to rise as a fluid figure emerges.  

Your eyes widen as a Naiad takes shape before you. Her hair is curly at the bottom, and carefully braided and wrapped in little sections, like the graceful rivulets of a waterfall as it cascades down her back and shoulders, blending back into the lake where they meet. 

“Oh…” you begin, intrigued and curious. You crouch down to speak to her so as not to loom over her intimidatingly. Looming intimidation, you feel, is something that should be used sparingly, and not when one is being gifted with help, or valuable information. 

“Hello.”

She looks right back at you with an equal - if not more nervous sort of intrigue. She waves. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” You say, bowing your head and gripping your muddy skirt hem to curtsy as much as you’re able to in your crouched position. “I didn’t know there were any naiads at the Enchanted Lake, or surely our paths would have crossed sooner.”

“There aren’t. Not usually.” She says in a soothing tone as her words flow from her lips. “I’m a bit of a shy duck. I like being somewhere that I won’t be disturbed, where I can keep to myself.”

“Naturally.” You nod, sensing her relax slightly at your understanding. She moves closer, leaning in to speak more freely, lowering her voice into an urgent whisper. 

“Well, I can feel it when somebody uses the lake’s magic.” She begins, the water around her rippling more quickly as she begins to get worked up at what she saw. “When Prince Ben and that- that purple fairy were here… something strange happened.”

The realization strikes you that this naiad could know exactly what happened to Ben, what Mal did to him. You lean closer, as does she, seafoam bubbling up around her edges as she stretches out to you. 

“It felt like- like mind control.” She says in a babbling whisper. “When Prince Ben submerged himself in the lake, it…”

She shakes her head, staring at nowhere in particular at the memory. 

“I’ve never felt anything like it. Not in all my years in the lake. I- there was a moment I feared the lake wouldn’t be able to break it.” She says, voice trembling as her eyes brim with tears. They spill, but she nods her head quickly. 

“But it did.”

The relief that strikes you in that moment is positively unmatched by anything else you think you’ve ever felt. Hope finally seems tangible, a solution, a resolution glowing as a pinprick of light in the distance of this suffocatingly dark tunnel of misfortune Mal has carved your way into. 

“But then… there was something else.”

Just like that, the flame of hope you were so desperately tending to flickers. 

“That purple fairy… she made a wish.” She begins. Dread and relief war within you. “And stranger still-”

She leans in even closer, stretching up to meet you as you stretch down, trying not to fall right into her lake. Cool water mists onto your skin as she speaks in an anxious whisper. 

“It was granted.”

Your stomach sinks like an anchor into the wet, wet mud of an unfamiliar shore. 

“I can’t say what it is she wished for-”

“Naturally.” You nod, agreeing. It is never the right of another to say what someone else wished for. Speculation is one thing, but knowing is another. 

“But…” she hesitates, trying to figure out how to phrase what she’s trying to say. “Her own conflicted heart will be her downfall. It’s very likely that she will break the conditions of her wish all on her own.”

Like the cooling gel of an ‘ello-vera plant after much time spent bathed in moonlight, a tentative sort of relief washes through you, soothing the frayed ends of your nerves. It’s not exactly what you wanted to hear, but like your mother always says, beggars can’t be choosers, and choosers can’t be indecisive. This is a much better piece of information than it could have been, and you nod gratefully as she continues.

“Her wish, despite everything, is only a temporary benefit to her, I suspect. Don’t preoccupy yourself with that over everything else, it cannot possibly last very long at all. When put to the test, she will not be ready to succeed.” She says urgently. “Don’t lose sight of your goal - see the rivers for the ocean.”

Her words seem to sear themselves into your mind and heart. You let out a soft, determined breath. 

“I can’t begin to thank you enough for this,” you say in a low, intent voice. “Please, tell me if there’s anything you should need in return.” You promise, standing up. 

The naiad nods anxiously, and looks around.

“Good luck!” She says quietly before disappearing back into the depths of the lake, leaving only a swirling current and bouncing ripples in her wake. 

Her words echo in your mind as you stand up, not caring one bit for the mud and water on your clothes. See the rivers for the ocean. See the trees for the forest. That’s something you can certainly do. 

A video call from your parents when you’re away at boarding school should be a good thing. A chance to douse the flames of homesickness that have no doubt been burning away within you for as long as you’ve been away. But in truth, it depends on who your parents are, and how you feel toward each other. In Mal’s case, the answer to both is bad. Both literally, and figuratively. This callous truth also applies to Evie, Carlos, and Jay, a knowledge and camaraderie they share as they sit anxiously at their desks in the Remedial Goodness classroom on a Saturday. 

“Now, as you know,” Fairy Godmother begins, addressing the students with a warm, anticipatory smile. “Sunday is family day here at Auradon Prep. And because your parents can’t be here due to- uh,” she sputters, looking for the most gentle way to say locked up on an island, as if the four of them weren’t raised in the prison built from their parents’ sins.

“Distance,” she decides. “We’ve arranged for a special treat.”

Their stomachs collectively sink as a large screen is rolled out in front of the blackboard, twisting with a sickening feeling. Evie’s breathing immediately picks up, and she finds herself fussing with her hair and nails, tugging at her clothes and trying to apply a little more lip gloss without anyone noticing. She drags a finger under her lower lashline, knowing she gets a little mascara fall out around this time of day. 

Carlos places Dude on the ground, his heart breaking for the dog as he nudges him away as gently as he can with his foot until Dude gets the message, scurrying off and watching him sadly. Jay is already shrugging off his tourney hoodie and wiping the smile off his face, waiting with a stoic scowl and crossing his arms defensively in a way that hides the shake in his hands. 

“I don’t see anything… nor do I hear-” 

The sound of her mother’s voice drains all the blood from Mal’s face in a way that no amount of blush could disguise. She rubs at her lips with the back of her hand, taking off the strawberry flavored lip gloss Evie had managed to persuade her to wear that morning. She’d been so excited about it, too. I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole strawberries thing… you’ll have to tell me if this tastes the same! Her brilliant Evie had managed to find strawberry flavored cosmetics, just because Mal couldn’t stop talking about how delicious they were. 

She rubs at her eyes, smudging the light makeup Evie had taught her how to do, feeling a sinking sense of grief as she ruins it. This was the first time she did it by herself - well, the first time Evie only had to hold her hand a little bit - and she makes a mental note to apologize to Evie for ruining their work later. Armed with chapped lips and dark rings smudged around her eyes, she strategically scratches at her scalp, hoping her hair looks damaged and unkempt, just like it always is. Was. Like it should be. 

She doesn’t need to look at her friends to know they’re all feeling exactly the same thing. Evie flips over her papers, hiding the A- grade she’d received yesterday and been beaming about ever since. Carlos guiltily rips off a bit of his breakfast bar and tosses it out of view, wordlessly trying to apologize to Dude for shoving him away so suddenly. 

Jay shoves his beloved Fighting Knights team hoodie that he’s been wearing with love for days onto the cold floor by his feet, silently praying it doesn’t get covered in mud from his cleats. The soft fleece and vibrant team logos woven together with a sense of camaraderie and belonging are replaced with his signature sink or swim, no team in I scowl, the one he picked up by copying his father’s face when he looked at Jay. 

There’s more discoordinant bickering that seems to suck all the goodness out of the room, no matter how remedial it is. Even Fairy Godmother seems tense. Finally, the image of their parents loads more clearly as their end of the video call finishes connecting. 

“Evie, it’s mommy!” Comes the condescending sing-song voice of the Evil Queen. Her under eyes are slightly swollen, Evie notices. She definitely got more back alley botox. And another CC of lip fillers, by the looks of it. She’s going to get a nasty rash from using dirty needles, just like she always does. All in the pursuit of beauty, she would tell Evie while making her daughter cover her itching, inflamed skin with expired psoriasis cream. 

“Oh, look how beautiful,” Evil Queen coos, and Evie plasters on the same smile her mother made her spend two hours a day practicing. “Just like your mother. She gets it all from me.”

Evil Queen turns between the other parents and Fairy Godmother, speaking to no one in particular as she continues.

“You know, they say having a daughter just sucks all the beauty right out of you. I’m sure they do, in most cases,” she says, looking between Maleficent and Fairy Godmother. “But with me, oh, I just sucked all that beauty right back.”

She lets out a stiff laugh, smiling as much as she can with all those frozen, swollen muscles in her face. 

“But, you know what they say, the poison apple doesn’t fall far from the heirloom tree…” 

Evil Queen leans closer, looking in the bottom corner of the screen, clearly looking at herself and paying no mind to anything else. 

The knots in their stomachs get bigger and bigger, harder to sit with as they watch their parents waste away half their sparse video call time jabbing at Fairy Godmother instead of talking to their children. Mal risks a glance at Evie, only seeing the blue hair she’s fussing with as she looks away from the group. Evie didn’t even get a hello. She was just used to prop up a mirror for her mother to obsess over and preen herself in, just like always. 

Fairy Godmother isn’t immune to their nasty ways either, growing increasingly distracted and impatient with their jeers and jabs, totally unaware of the pain on the children's faces behind her. The sky outside dims drastically for a moment as a bank of clouds pass by, blocking out the sun. The world feels dark and cold and small again, suffocating in that moment of chilling darkness. 

“Mal…” 

She tenses at her mother’s saccharine, deceptively sweet sing-song voice. “When can we see you again?” 

Her expression and words are tense, but their true meaning is clear. Have you gotten that damned wand yet? 

“Uh- there’s a coronation in two days,” Mal says in a low voice, trying to sound relaxed, looking at  her mother’s nose instead of trying to look at her eyes. “So probably after that.”

Maleficent hums, but it sounds more like a growl to Mal. 

“Well,” She starts tensely, the disapproval and growing impatience clear, “Let’s see if you can make that sooner.”

Mal flinches at her mother’s tone, looking away from the screen, but Maleficent doesn’t notice. The four parents descend into more arguing, starting to use language that causes Fairy Godmother to shut off the screen abruptly in fear of someone overhearing their profane, cruel words. 

The silence that follows is crushingly heavy, bruising their muscles and straining their spines from the sheer weight of it. 

“...I am so sorry-” 

Fairy Godmother’s words are sincere, which makes them even more difficult to hear. “It’s fine.” Mal says in a quiet voice, not having the energy to be snippy even when cutting her off. “Really.”

“We’re used to it.” Carlos supplies in a hollow voice.

Unable to stand being in this goddamn room any longer, Mal moves to leave. Everyone else quickly follows her, just as desperate to get out, but waiting for her cue. The door slams shut behind them as Mal marches back to their dorms. The air is thick, and their chests feel painfully tight. Invisible hands seem to wrap around their necks, choking them tighter and tighter, pushing harder against their stomachs as more heavy silence envelops them. 

Arriving back in Mal and Evie’s dorm, Evie immediately sits down at her vanity, pulling out her tweezers to obsessively remove facial hair that isn’t there. Carlos curls up on the floor in front of Mal’s bed, and Jay stands in front of the closed door, arms crossed. Mal paces, picking at her chipping polish. Jay’s stomach twists as he builds up the courage to speak. His words are quiet - quiet for him, at least - but they still feel loud. He knows they’d feel loud no matter what.

“So… what’s our next move?”

He feels like he shouldn’t even be asking, but he has to. Someone has to. They all need to know what the fuck they’re supposed to do next. Mal slows her pacing, trembling under the crushing weight of guilt and self blame, the hatred of herself for letting herself start to get comfortable, for even considering leaning into this cushy, sugary, strawberry flavored life. Her shoulders are so tense she almost feels lightheaded. She can feel a headache coming on. 

There’s a fraction of a moment before she answers. She hates this, hates being the one in charge. She hates being the only thing standing between her friends- between Evie and Jay and Carlos, and abject misery. She hates bearing the weight of holding back everything worse they’re trying to avoid. It’s aging her, she thinks. Or it would be if fairies aged like humans. She’s sure she’d have gray hair, aches in her joints, a tremor when she walks. She hates this feeling, and whenever it comes, she knows how Atlas feels, crushing yourself under the weight of the sky to try and stop the people behind you from suffocating faster. 

“We pull our heads out of our asses.” 

She tries to sound sharp, intimidating, but it doesn’t quiet land. She sounds afraid. 

“We wake the hell up, and we do what we fucking came here to do.”

Her words are like the click of prison shackles, tightening on their wrists and ankles as they march toward a seaside cliff of inevitable doom. That’s not the answer that any of them wanted.

It’s later that night, so late that even Carlos has fallen asleep. Mal shakes her head, trying to dispel the unpleasant memories. She grabs her spellbook and sneaks down into the kitchens. She digs around a little, finding a bottle of apple juice, and a bottle of blue ischyros-ade. There’s a sponsored photo of Hercules on the front, with some dumb slogan and black and white Greecian designs. She flips through her spellbook, knowing she should be practicing more than she has been, and finds a simple transportation spell. She sets the drinks down, focusing as she tries to cast the spell, tracing her hands around the bottles. 

“Destination, free of fare, move these- uh, bottles, from here to there.”

The tendrils of smoke that had been building dispel, with the fizzling pop of failed magic. She lets out a frustrated sigh and tries again. 

 “Destination, free of fare, move these bottles from here to there.”

It almost works this time, there’s more smoke and a building feeling of anticipation, but it still fizzles out at the last moment. She’s about to give up and just march back up to her dorm herself, but she hesitates. She thinks about Evie, seeing her in her mind’s eye. Her heart aches, crying to reach out and hold her, to comfort her best friend, to kiss her and tell her she’s the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

“...Destination, free of fare, bring these bottles from here to there.” 

The words flow more freely this time, not feeling as forced. There’s a rush of blood to her head, and when she looks back down… they’re gone. She smirks to herself. Of course the one time she nails a spell is because she’s worried about Evie. 

She starts to close her book, but something falls out. 

An index card in her scratchy writing, detailing a… cookie recipe. Oh god, Ben. She totally forgot about him. She’s been so preoccupied with keeping an eye on Jay and Carlos, and worrying about Evie that she… forgot Ben existed, if she’s being honest. She doesn’t have a choice. She’s going to have to enable her mother to bring on a new age of darkness and evil, and… Ben is going to think he’s in love with her the whole time. 

She thinks that if she were able to feel any worse than she did, she would now. But she’s just… maxed out. She doesn’t have any guilt of self hate or fear left for Ben. But she knows that keeping him under her control is… it’s just a step too far. Mal swallows thickly, then grabs a bag of chocolate chips from the pantry. There’s a recipe on the back for something called s’mores, and another recipe next to that. Trollhouse mini chocolate chip cupcakes. 

She fumbles around the kitchen, clumsily throwing open cabinets and rifling through them, dropping ingredients halfheartedly onto the stainless steel countertops. Her mind is a blur as she mixes them together. She doesn’t notice that she forgot to add the cinnamon, or that a few bits of eggshell ended up in the lumpy batter. She just can’t bring herself to care. 

Waiting for them to finish baking is the worst part. She shoves everything back in the cupboards even though they’re not in the right place, and she takes a towel and gets it wet, squirting a generous amount of dish soap on it. She wipes down the counter as soap bubbles fill the air, the green viscous liquid dripping off the edge of the counter and splatting on the floor. 

The chemical smell of fake apples and soap fill her senses, and she throws the sudsy towel in a basket for towels that need to be laundered. She takes another towel and wipes off the suds, leaving behind a sticky, chemical residue as she throws that one in the hamper too. She’s startled from her dazed attempt at cleaning to keep her hands and mind busy when the little egg timer buzzes. 

She pulls out the mini muffin tray and sets it on the counter, nearly burning herself in the process. The acrid scent of scorched chemical dish soap wafts up and mixes with the sweet, fudgy smell of the cupcakes. She looks through the tray at the unfrosted, gooey chocolate baked goods before her, and picks one of them up. She dumps the rest in the trash and drops the tray by the sink. 

Stretching up to grab a spoon and can of chocolate frosting, she sees a figure standing there where there hadn’t been just the moment before. She nearly jumps out of her fucking skin, seeing you there looking like you clawed your way out of a grave. 

Your striped tights are snagged and torn, you’re smudged with mud and dirt, there’s a twig or something tangled in your hair. Your makeup is smudged too, making you look… almost frightening. Without hesitation, you step forward as the last parts of the tile floor close themselves up behind you. You’re looking at her with a surprising intensity, eyes locked on her like a predator hunting down its prey. She starts to say something, but you don’t care, wasting no time as you ensure she can’t run out the door past you - not that she would, you don’t think. It’s merely a strategic precaution. 

“Do you even realize what you’ve done?”

Your voice is lower than usual, sharper and rougher and serious. You speak quickly and sharply, like your tongue itself is a vorpal blade that you’re all too comfortable wielding. Mal tries to answer, but you cut her off before she can. 

“Because I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so stupidly foolish.” You spit, taking a step forward. 

“I’m sure you’d love to know the outs and ins of what I know, but that is not a pleasure you’ll have the fortune of crossing paths with as of yet.” You say quickly, cutting straight to the point. “If you value the lives and wellbeing of your friends, or more likely, your own self serving preservation, if you don’t crave a miserable lifetime in a dungeon so deep you’ll never hope to see the sun or breath clean air again, if you don’t wish to resign yourself to a life worse than death, worse than even you could imagine…”

You lower your voice further, and when you speak, Mal feels like she’s been stung. 

“You will not breathe a word of what you’ve done. Not to anybody.” 

Mal’s stomach drops. She swallows thickly, trying not to let you see how thrown off by you she is. You haven’t said what you know, which means you probably know nothing. This is just some cheap attempt to shake her down for information because you’re worried about Ben or something. It’s the only thing that makes sense, but it sounds flimsy even to her. 

“Not only is tampering with the free will of others an unforgivable crime,” You continue, even more intense than before. You’re gripping onto your self control with white knuckles, desperately trying not to give into the madness you’re barely restraining. 

A cold sweat breaks out across Mal’s skin. Tampering with free will… you do know. Somehow you know what she did, what she did to Ben. 

“But you’ve chosen for reasons way beyond my understanding or interest to commit the most egregious act of treason I have ever heard tell of.” You say sharply in a low voice, like the information strategically parting from your lips is only and exclusively for you and her. 

“I’m sure you can’t possibly grasp the ramifications of what you’ve done- if you could you would have turned back long before now.” You say, a note of warning in your voice. “But now it is my duty to prevent your infectious actions from metastasizing further than they already have. It breaks my heart that you would damn so many innocent people who have suffered like you have just for-”

A chilling, dry laugh leaves your throat. 

“I don’t know why, really. Nor am I bothered to care. Not when there is this much damage to be controlled.”

You take yet another step closer. Not close enough to touch each other, but uncomfortably so. 

“You are to keep your head down.” You hiss, “You are to cease any and all further attempts to interfere with the crown, or the mess that you’ve created. And above all else, you are to do nothing to raise any suspicion.”

You’re not threatening her, she realizes. You’re warning her. 

“If you intend for even a moment to step a toe out of the parameters which I have given you, I will assure you the consequences will come faster than you could possibly run from them.”

You sound so sure. You’re so quiet and calm, like you’re just… telling her the facts. You’re not trying to scare her with bluster and intimidation tactics - that she could handle. That she’s used to. But this… she’s never seen this from anyone. Realizing how cornered she is, she swallows thickly, looking around and trying to seem nonchalant, desperately looking for any way to deflect your accusations. Your preternaturally in tune perception of the situation. 

“Look, you’re crazy if you-”

“Oh. Of course.”

You cut her off with a raw, honest stare. She sees something deep inside you, an unstable glint you’ve never let this far out. It’s like you’re finally loosening reins on a creature you’ve always had well trained and under your command. 

“Mad as a fucking hatter.” You say in a joltingly light, casual tone. “The best people are.”

Before she can blink, she’s hit with the smell of dirt. The floor below you cracks, crumbling away into nothing. You drop fearlessly down into the dark maw of the earth, keeping your gaze on her the whole time. In the same breath, the floor closes back up without leaving so much as a trace. 

Finally alone again - at least, she thinks so - she grips the counter tightly, hoping the cool metal will soothe her shaking hands. Her heart is pounding, like it’s trying to break out of her chest. Alice is just some person, some random girl who fell down the wrong hole in the ground. You’re her daughter, so you shouldn’t… how the fuck did you do that?! 

There are rumors about Wonderland, of course. Whispers about the depths of madness that hide behind whimsy and eccentricity and nonsense. For the first time, Mal understands what those whispers are really talking about. 

[svmmersoldier98]

Kindred souls Part 1

Pics are not mine, belongs to Pinterest. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲. 𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗲. 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄.. 𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁.

Pairings: Avengers! X F!OC,Bucky Barnes X F!OC Warnings: blood,stalking,past traumas,mention of Red Room and HYDRA,swearing (A lot),violence,flirting, fluff,angst,mentions of depression,ptsd and adhd Summary: OC was part of the Red Room, got taken at a very young age, escaped thanks to Natasha Romanoff and her sister who took down the Red Room. Now her past hunts her. Word count: 1.4K

I ran through the streets, soaked with water and mud. My clothes were dirty and ruined as I ran. The voices grew louder as I ended up in a dark valley where the only way out was up. It was impossible to get out of there before they caught up with me. I was always stubborn and brave, but that courage wasn’t so good in every situation.

When the voices finally caught up with me and the three men came towards me, adrenaline pumped through my veins and my heart raced so fast it was a miracle I was still alive. I noticed the pattern of their movements and tried to dance my way out of the encounter, but as soon as one of them spoke up, it was clear why they were after me. “2013 March 12”- One of them said. The confused look on my face made him even angrier than before. The other two men tried to calm him down, but they did not have much success. He was almost about to lash out at me when he suddenly stopped, seemed to calm down a little and spoke again.

“You killed my mother, my father and my sister. Don’t you remember? You even looked me straight in the eye and I watched you slaughter them in front of me. And yet you acted as if nothing had happened and left.“- My memories came back and I saw in front of me a small child, about 5 years old, crying in front of me. The bodies of his family were lying on the floor, covered in blood. I was the one who had killed them. I had made his life hell. It was already a great burden on my shoulders, how many lives I ruined in my life, in that short time. I was only 15 years old at the time. It was even a miracle that they sent me on a mission. I was the youngest one out there, the others weren't sent out until they were 20.

But Drejkov saw something in me, that I was capable of something impossible. Just like his other former widow. Natasha Romanoff. I thought I wasn't like her, she was strong and I was just trying to be strong. All that weighed on me every day. And I was still so young, how could I ruin so many lives in such a short time? When I answered him, he was on the verge of losing his temper and now his friends were rushing towards me too. I don’t want to hurt any more innocent people, but I don’t want to die either.  “I’m sorry about that. I had no other choice at that moment.“ -I said and one of them pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. I was fast and very well trained. The boy wasn’t used to a gun, he couldn’t handle it.

Maybe that was the cause, or maybe my mind was telling me not to dodge the bullet. That it would be easier to let it kill me after all the pain I'd caused. I'd deserve it. Then the bullet found me, in my chest, close to my heart, but not close enough to kill me. I pressed on the wound as they just ran away. The kid got more trauma, great. I needed immediate medical attention but didn’t know where to go. I mean, I couldn’t go to a normal hospital with a bullet in my chest, they'd ask far too many questions, and the police would probably get involved too. I couldn’t risk that. As I tried to hide in the shadows of the night, I noticed a large billboard on a building across the street. The Avengers. It was a bunch of guys until a familiar face appeared. Natasha. They had a live/work base, which was also mentioned on the billboard.

Well done Avengers, that’s not a way you hide from the enemy. I only had one chance, hopefully she will not ask any questions and just get the bullet out and I am on my way. After a long walk I was exhausted, I had lost a lot of blood, but I was here. The gates weren’t actually closed so I just pushed them aside and walked in. There was a big field around the even bigger building. A bunch of cars and training grounds. Strange, I thought to myself. Not a guard, but a retinal scanner. It's easy to hack into these things. I mean, I had to learn how to hack, I was supposed to be a deadly assassin. It didn’t take me long to do it, the screen was green and the doors were open. I walked in, stumbled to the elevator, read the signs and pressed the button that would take me to the “living area”. Where I would find Natasha, I assumed.

The elevator opened with a ding and I stepped out... so many people.. "So, um, hello." -I said, a little unsure of the situation. I looked around the room, everyone was staring at me. I was practically soaked from the rain. Water dripped off my clothes onto the floor, forming a small pool underneath me as I stood in front of the elevator. "Who are you?" - one of them asked. A tall, blond-haired, muscular man in a black T-shirt that clung perfectly to his body and gray sweatpants. He looked good, and he looked familiar. "Uh... my name is Ren. And I came here to talk to Natasha." -I said, my voice low as I was a little intimidated by all the people. "That's your first question, Rogers? Well, mine is, how the hell did you get in here? I built the security system myself!" -He was a few inch shorter, had black hair and sported a beard and mustache. "Then you must be Tony Stark." - I said, looking at the man in question. "It wasn't my intention to hack into your system. I just didn't know where to go." -I muttered quietly, waving my fingers around.

Once again, I felt like I did before... "Alright then. Why do you want to see her?" -Asked the blonde, who was obviously Rogers. "She's the reason I was able to escape. And the only person I remember." -My voice shook a little, but I continued. "Besides, I was attacked before I got here. Some people found me and claimed I killed their parents. Which is probably what happened. It's still a little of a blur to remember all this." -I said, heaving a sigh as I stared at the ground beneath me. I didn't tell them about my wound, which was bleeding at the moment. After all, I had been shot. My clothes were already wet, so I didn't think it would show. "You're bleeding," one of them said. A deep, hoarse voice. I felt a shiver run down my spine at that. "No, I'm not," I said quickly. Perhaps too quickly. "Yes, you're bleeding. I can smell it. And it's dripping from your clothes." -That deep voice again. Then a man appeared. He had a metal arm.

I tilted my head slightly to the side as I looked at the man in front of me. "You're the Winter Soldier. He mentioned you a few times. You were supposed to train us, but then you disappeared from HYDRA... " I said, still looking at him from head to toe. He looked different from what Dreykov had shown us. He still had long hair and that pain in his eyes, but something was different. "Who?" he asked simply, but his tone was demanding. "Dreykov. My so-called father. Or whatever he was." -I answered him. Then I heard a soft, low sigh of surprise in the room. "You were in the Red Room?" -a female voice. She sounded scared, even surprised. "Yes, I was. I escaped two years ago when you and your sister blew up that hellhole." - my voice went quiet again. I had never talked about it before. I don't know why I did now. I shifted my weight to my other leg and hissed at the sudden pain I felt in my chest. The bullet. It dripped even more and now soaking my shirt. Now they definitely see it. The tall blonde gasped and quickly rushed over to me, catching me as I nearly collapsed. "We can ask her more questions once the wound of hers are taken care of" he said in an imperious tone. It seemed like he was the boss here, everyone listened to him. I was taken into a white, bright room. Then everything went dark.